So earlier today, Disney confirmed that it had reached a deal to buy most of 21st Century Fox‘s assets for some $52.4 billion.
The news that one of the biggest content companies in the world had swelled in size and gobbled up Fox’s assets had some people asking the really, truly, vitally important questions: whom or what is now a Disney princess?
The 1997 film seemed like a Disney movie, but was actually produced by Fox Animation Studios. Justice, at last! Once upon a December is now stuck in my head till the end of time.
Obviously Buffy is a Disney princess. Obviously. A penchant for killing evil undead creatures doesn’t prevent you from being treated like the royalty you are. I mean…. like… oh wait –
Many people are saying that Buffy is now a Disney princess due to the recent acquisition of 21st Century Fox by Disney.
This is incorrect.
Disney princesses are now Slayers.
— Wh*donesque (@whedonesque) December 14, 2017
Fair. But you can’t deny –
You know what Dana Scully and Belle from Beauty in the Beast have in common? They were both held hostage. You know what else they have in common? DISNEY FREAKING PRINCESSES. We believe.
Given news of the Fox/Disney deal I am fully convinced that Dana Scully now qualifies as the best Disney princess
— Charles Bergquist (@cbquist) December 14, 2017
SORRY TO ALL THE HATERS SAYING A MAN CANNOT BE A DISNEY PRINCESS. Um, it’s 2017. He can be whatever the fuck he wants. Also: Die Hard is a Christmas movie.
Can’t believe John McClane is a Disney princess now. This is like the greatest day of my life.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) December 14, 2017
Every character in The Devil Wears Prada
Andy Sachs is a Disney princess. Miranda Priestly is a Disney princess. Emily Charlton is a Disney princess. Even Nigel Kipling is a Disney princess.
You know who is not a Disney princess? Andy’s boyfriend Nate because he sucks and threw a temper tantrum when Andy started doing well at work.
Fox gave us The Devil Wears Prada so that means Anne Hathaway as Andy Sachs is now a Disney princess, with a Disney villainess in Meryl’s Miranda Priestly. pic.twitter.com/Hdsy4Kmnlm
— ❤️🔥 (@justasvf) December 14, 2017
Yes alright, Avatar was a blatant – and much more expensive – rip of Pocahontas, and nobody wants the four sequels James Cameron has planned, but should that stop Neytiri, the princess of her tree clan (or whatever it was), from being a Disney princess? No, it should not.
For that matter, Sigourney Weaver should also be a princess. Princess of not giving a shit about dudes and their big guns and money-hungry mining plans.
The White Witch
My girl Jadis – who only wanted an aesthetic monochrome look for everyone, and made the dopest hot chocolate and Turkish delight from nothing – is a Queen. Queen Jadis. Disney Queen Jadis.
She’s basically the original Elsa from Frozen, anyway.
And in that case:
Lucy and Susan Pevensie
Yep, the Pevensie kids, who become Kings and Queens of Narnia, are now the Disney Kings and Queens of Narnia. Prince Caspian? A dashing Disney prince. Eustace? Eh, let’s not go crazy now.
Shout-out to that time before James McAvoy was super famous and he played a confusingly hot fawn. You know what? He can be a Disney prince. Allowing it.
The Alien from Aliens
Have we strayed too far from Disney’s light, the light that owns everything it touches? Yes. Is the alien from Aliens now a Disney princess? Also yes.