Undoubtably the funniest part of the royal wedding is watching Meghan Markle‘s trash family continue to snipe. belittle and full-on bitch about their blood relation even as she continues to not give a flying fuck.
Meghan, it has to be said, is great. Maybe you were a fan of her because of Suits or maybe you only started paying attention when she began dating the then-fifth in line to the throne (he’s been bumped a spot not, thanks to that little usurper Louis), whatever. She’s smart, talented, and a strong advocate for feminism and social issues. She then bagged a Prince, one so sought after that they made an entire reality TV show tricking American girls into thinking they were dating him. (RIP, I Wanna Marry Harry.) Not that that’s a marker of being ‘good’, but, whatever. She’s marrying royalty.
So lets go back to her trash estranged family, the ones who keep giving bitchy interviews to literally any media outlet that’ll pay attention (and dollars). This time, her estranged brother, Thomas Markle Jr, literally sent a hand-written letter to In Touch Weekly telling Prince Harry that it’s “not too late” to call off the wedding.
“Dear Prince Harry,” he begins, in the letter that – we repeat – he sent to In Touch Weekly.
“It’s not too late, Meghan Markle is obviously not the right right woman for you.” [Who refers to their own sister by her full name? Psychos, obviously.]
“As more time passes to your royal wedding, it became very clear that this is the biggest mistake in royal wedding history.
“I’m confused why you don’t see the real Meghan that the whole world now sees, Meghan’s attempt to act the part of a princess like a below C average Hollywood actress is getting old.”
He claims that Meghan used their father then left him broke, and that he’ll “never recover financially from paying Meghan’s way, nor emotionally from disavowing him, Meg is showing her true colours.”
He continues: “It is very apparent that her tiny bit of Hollywood fame has gone to her head. Changing her into a jaded, shallow, conceited woman, that will make a joke of you and the Royal family heritage.”
Buddy…. I think they’re doing that on their own.
Then Thomas gets to the crux of his saltiness: that he didn’t score an invite to the wedding of the year.
“Not to mention, to top it all off, she doesn’t invite her own family and instead invites complete strangers to the wedding. Who does that. You and the Royal family should put an end to this fake fairytale wedding before it’s too late.”
He says “the whole world is watching Meg make bad decisions and choices, it’s not too late Harry.”
He finishes: “Meghan is still my sister, she IS family. So whatever happens is up to her, whether she wants to forget knowing me or the rest of her family, family comes first.
“Also you would think that a Royal wedding would bring a torn family closer together, but I guess we’re all distant family to Meg.”
Credit: In Touch Magazine.
Meanwhile, if you plan to watch this “jaded, shallow, conceited woman” actually marry Harry, then tune in to Channel 9 on May 19 from 7pm onwards. This is your three week warning to politely bow out of all other plans.Image: Getty Images / Chris Jackson