Just when you think Hollywood had categorically exhausted every film genre ever, along comes Jonah Hex a revenge Western with supernatural elements based on the DC Comics character of the same name.
According to the official synopsis “Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) is a scarred drifter and bounty hunter of last resort, a tough and stoic gunslinger who can track down anyone…and anything. Having survived death, Jonah’s violent history is steeped in myth and legend, and has left him with one foot in the natural world and one on the “other side.” His only human connection is with Leila (Megan Fox), whose life in a brothel has left her with scars of her own.”
Basically Josh Brolin the renegade cowboy and Megan Fox the love interest prostitute have to kill a Machiavellian John Malkovich and blow a whole heap of shit up in the process. It’s like a Western because there are horses and funny hats and no showers and it’s like a Horror film because a crow comes out of Josh Brolin’s face and he revives a corpse with creepy touch powers. We’re not sure whether the genre mash will gel but we do know that a horse that carries Gatling guns is about the stupidest fucking thing we’ve ever seen.
The good news is that Lance Reddick (The Wire) and Will Arnett (Arrested Development) cameo in the film so while you’re watching you can think “Hey, isn’t that the guy from The Wire/Arrested Development?” which may momentarily distract you from the fact that you’re watching the worst movie ever. Did we mention that Megan Fox plays a prostitute?