Meet The Cast Of The Shire

Despite arousing nationwide douche chills, parodies and militaristic opposition from Sutherland Shire Mayor, Carol Provan, The Shire has been officially fast tracked for a July 16th premiere date on Ten.

The network aired a candy coloured promo last night giving us our first look at the future energy drink endorsers for whom we will create nasty reductive nicknames for: direct sales assistant Gabrielle (20), singing teacher and waitress Tegan (24), electrician Andy (22), model Nikee (20), stonemason Mitch (23), and restaurant manager Kerry (26).

According to Ten “The series follows the lives and loves of a group of young Australians who are destined to become some of the most talked about people in Australia. Now you can meet the hot surfers, the vivacious models, the girls next door, the on-and-off couples, the loveable rogues, and the entrepreneurs who are set to become household names.”

Watch the trailer below where literally the first thing you see is a Southern Cross tattoo. Welcome to The Shire bitch!