Thanks to Matthew Perry’s latest sit-down chat with Jimmy Kimmel, we now know there’s a parallel universe where the Friends icon’s most notable accomplishment was roughing up Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau while in primary school. 

After taking to the Jimmy Kimmel Live! set, Perry admitted that “I have a story about him that I’m not proud of,” before explaining that at the ripe old age of ten, Perry and his mate actually bullied the hell out of the nation’s future leader.

“I think he was excelling in sport that we weren’t, so it was pure jealousy. And, you know… we beat him up.”
Of course, Trudeau went on to become quite well known for his martial arts prowess. The bloke has been doing judo since way back, and ain’t afraid of throwing hands in the ring. 

via Carlos Osorio / Getty.

Trudeau wasn’t just some dude in school, either. His pa, Pierre Trudeau, was also the Canadian PM at the time. All of this leads us to believe that Perry, through luck we cannot fathom, avoided having every single body in his body rearranged by the young would-be pugilist. 

After suggesting that it was Perry’s dickishness which inspired Trudeau to, you know, succeed in life, Kimmel guessed at the leader’s thought process: “I’m going to destroy those two boys who beat me.” 

Watch your back, Perry. The Mounties always get their man. Watch:

Source and photo: Jimmy Kimmel Live! / YouTube.