Allow me to get Real with you for a moment: this is my last ever ‘Married At First Sight’ column. It hurts, but it’s the truth: I’m not going to be writing them any more.
But WHAT A WAY TO GO, AM I RIGHT?!
Like SHIT YOU GUYS. THAT WAS… AMAZING.
Give every single person on this hellish show one million dollars in cash, because I will be thinking about this piece of television for the rest of my life.
Betrayal. Infidelity. Outrage. Shock twists. A solid ninety minutes of shouting at the TV. This episode delivered everything.
So ashamed of myself for watching #MAFS. Why can’t I have an addiction to something more highbrow… like crack?
— CC🌊 (@cuddycudmore) February 18, 2018
We all know the Davina/Dean/Tracy love triangle sitch: Dean & Tracy are “married”, Davina and Dean got all lovey-dovey over text and then had a revolting tryst in a pub, Dean promised that he was totally into Davina, Davina looked like the smuggest shit alive, and Tracy went on oblivious.
We were all prepped for a disgusting moment of betrayal in tonight’s commitment ceremony, but we were NOT prepared for it to look like THIS.
Dean comes clean. #MAFS pic.twitter.com/9iQuBNztks
— Married At First Sight (@MarriedAU) February 18, 2018
Instead of dropping Tracy in order to flounce off into the Insta-filtered sunset with Davina, Dean actually confessed to his two-timing garbage and begged Tracy to stay with him. This prompted Davina to burst into tears, accuse him of being a wretched scumbag, and expertly pivot from conscienceless harpy to victim in about a split second.
Also we got to see everyone else yell at Dean the Sexist, which was probably more satisfying than about 80% of my sexual experiences. Apparently the rest of Australia feels pretty much exactly the same way.
The best two seconds of #MAFS Australia television history 🤣 #OMG pic.twitter.com/TU9qYn6lUN
— Izzy (@izzywiththemic) February 18, 2018
Can we replace the ‘experts’ with Nasser? And maybe Nasser replace the PM too while we are at it! #mafs
— Nick (@nickbarnesaus) February 18, 2018
Nasser be like #MAFS pic.twitter.com/Yw24o1jjtP
— Yandamonium ⚫️🔴🟡🟢 (@Yandamonium) February 18, 2018
Dean blaming Davina for everything just shows how vile and disgusting he really is #MAFS
— Amanda Novak (@Kobesmama13) February 18, 2018
https://twitter.com/radelaidie/status/965149226157010946
This is the greatest episode of reality tv I have ever watched #MAFS
— Ames (@AmyyCatherine) February 18, 2018
https://twitter.com/kelliotpinky/status/965136295637917699
I love how Dean is only just realising that actions have consequences. The rest of us learnt that in primary school, bro. #MAFS
— Shalailah Medhora (@shalailah) February 18, 2018
Tracey dropping a Danny Glover “I’m getting too old for this shit” has been the highlight of #MAFS
— Ryan Fitzgerald (@FitzySA) February 18, 2018
Also, can we agree: Ryan, baby, what’s up?
https://twitter.com/nikki12400815/status/965152691050565633
Obviously Tracy chose to stay with Dean because there’s nothing a woman likes more than being two-timed on national television, AND because he’s a duplicitous snake who blamed everything on Davina’s insatiable horniness and also bought himself a new ring (?) as a symbol of his commitment.
Best of luck, mate: as we saw last season, the producers of this show have no problem with playing your own bullshit right back to you directly after you’ve invested a heap of energy into strenuously denying it. I literally cannot wait.
