Jason Statham’s Monster Shark Movie ‘The Meg’ Looks Certifiably Batshit

I love Jason Statham. To me, he’s like a British Bruce Willis: all shaved head, grit, determination with a side of cheekiness. I give him props for just embracing his career as an action star and continuing to make movies that see him saving the world against increasingly more ridiculous odds.

Take his upcoming flick The Meg, for example. My brother showed me this trailer on the weekend and honestly, I thought it was a SNL skit at first. It looks completely ridiculous, but at the same time I absolutely need to see it the second it comes out.

A joint production effort between US studio Warner Bros and Chinese company Gravity Pictures, you can tell some bigwig sat in his office and thought “I know what we need: Jaws, but bigger!” Literally this shark is the biggest shark to ever exist, the mythical megalodon which is like 22 metres long and is supposed to be extinct.

Don’t worry, it totally is extinct, just not in Movie Land. In Movie Land, Jason Statham is on a deep sea research station 320km off the coast of China and must fight off the big shark to save not only his team, but ALL OF HUMANITY.

Just look at this size of this fucker’s gob.

The Meg Jason Statham
small childe, i will eat you

It’s huge. If that protective glass wasn’t there, he could straight up just swallow that 6-year-old kid whole.

The trailer also features other wonderful details such as this big-ass squid that circles menacingly around actress Fan Bingbing:

The Meg Jason Statham
imagine the calamari this beast could provide

Aussie Ruby Rose looking concerned, yet defiant:

oi let’s catch this sharky motherfucker etc

There’s even Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson) from The Office, looking rugged AF:

just here for the comic relief / paycheck

A small dog who is definitely going to die, sorry:

swim faster you furry idiot

And of course, there’s plenty of Jase.

The Meg Trailer Jason Statham
oh look it’s my credibility swimming away

It’s going to be the most terrible / awesome movie of the year and I can’t actually wait. Check out the entire trailer in all its glory below and mark your diaries for August 30, which is when the big ol’ shark swims into Aussie cinemas.