Did you watch the Lance Armstrong x Oprah worldwide exclusive, no-holds-barred interview that just finished airing addressing the doping scandal, accusations of cheating and use of performance enhancing drugs that have plagued Armstrong’s career while flicking in between re-runs of Friends and Fashion Police on E! ?
Was it a little dry for your tastes (on account of there being no one in the interview room holding up sad face crying emoticon flashcards that Lance could use to mirror the facial expressions he’s been media trained to emulate)?
Would you rather watch an ‘epic’, ‘into the dark‘ dramatisation of this whole shitty saga brought to life by J.J. Abrams and his production company, Bad Robot; the same company that enlivened home cinemas everywhere with performance enhancing films and television series like Lost, Star Trek and Felicity?
If you answered “heck yes; please sir, can I have some more EPO?” to any of the above then you, like Oprah, are swimming in luck, cash and all of Oprah’s favourite things.
While a well-documented halcyon days biopic from Sony has been in the works since 2006 with Armstrong’s buddy Jake Gyllenhaal chasing the yellow jersey (lead role), Deadline are now reporting that a new feature film has been set in motion that plans to look at Armstrong’s much darker, dopier narrative.
Abrams and his production partner, Bryan Burk, have secured the rights to a new film based on what is currently a book proposal, Cycle of Lies: The Fall of Lance Armstrong, by author and New York Times sports writer, Juliet Macur. The film will inevitably attract a lot of attention, millions of viewers, many more cash dollars, and a marquee director. Think David Fincher: The Doping Network.
A third and final act, however, is evidently still being written as of this very moment. Who will play Oprah? (Oprah, obviously.) Who knows how it will end? (Not Lance, that’s who.) Hopefully the film, which should surface years from now long after people have stopped caring, concludes on a much more satisfactory note than the #Doprah interview, which finished like this:
Oprah: It’s an epic story. What’s the moral to the story?
Lance: I don’t have a great answer there…
Oprah: You know what I hope the moral to the story is? I hope the moral to the story is… ‘The truth will set you free.’
Lance: Yeah [a beat]. Yeah…
Yeah.
Photo via OWN/Getty
