Hiding in the depths of the Australia Zoo in Brisbane on the weekend was something that nobody expected, something so delightfully odd that no enclosure could hold it.
[jwplayer HxvooZPR]
THIS fuckin’ bung-ass croc. This god-damned borked squeaky binch. I love him dearly. Please, take a moment to soak in the brilliance that is this absolutely absurd rubber crocodile toy.
Can we all appreciate this crocodile I got from Australia zoo on the weekend pic.twitter.com/cQ8Cb8CNpS
— ✨🌈PONAH🌈✨ VTUBER (@FabuPonah) October 29, 2018
I mean either he’s been left out in the sun for a touch too long and warped beyond repair, or something went horribly wrong (or delightfully right) in the creation process that resulted in this wonky-lookin’ boi. The more I look at it the more I laugh.
What the fuck is even going on I loved this stupid thing so much.
If this croc was a guy in a pub he’d be the one leaning half off a chair, squinting at his phone with one eye closed because the room would spin too much with both eyes open. He’d be the kinda croc that double dumped and spent half the show splayed across a couch trying to tell anyone that would listen just how much he “totally fucking LOVE you, dude“.
It’s a god damned physical MEME and I LOVE IT.
When u tell ur friend a bad joke pic.twitter.com/HGuEajdKdg
— ✨🌈PONAH🌈✨ VTUBER (@FabuPonah) October 29, 2018
The dumbass bent croc’s owner, Ponah from Brisbane, found this absolute specimen on a trip to Australia Zoo on the weekend, and has since named him ‘Smegma‘ which I mean…all the power to you. You do whatever you want. I know there’s a dog out there named ‘Cumlord‘ and he’s my favourite internet dog, so you extremely do you.
And also massive props for getting journalists and media to write – and probably say – “Smegma the Crocodile toy“. I have to applaud that power move.
So anyway, Smegma’s managed to get a few fans this week, and people have embraced him into their hearts and lives. Hell, people have even drawn fan art of the cooked croc already.
I have drawn The Boy. pic.twitter.com/pqV2DTfLal
— ????????️spidersVise????️???? (@spidersVise) October 29, 2018
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, derpagator? pic.twitter.com/wAZCYIfrJh
— Neve Spooks (@Food_attic) October 29, 2018
BUT it’s also brought other fucked up toys to the surface, like THIS GUY.
We named ours Herbert and gave him a skateboard pic.twitter.com/BdhXwOL4lp
— Sweet-Sinister-Sister-Thomasin (@SweetThomasin) October 29, 2018
And other people HAVE THE SAME ONE.
MY HANDSOME BOY HAS A BROTHER pic.twitter.com/5pN2h21LtI
— ????Lexi Spooky Pup???? (@LexipupArts) October 29, 2018
And apparently, Smegma’s not alone in how bung he is – ALL OF THEM were like that.
Nope cus THEY WERE ALL LIKE THIS there were hundreds
A bunch of my friends all got them too so we all have one— ▼▼ 666 F00TB∀TH ▼▼ (@FabuPonah) October 29, 2018
Imagine being at the zoo and thinking “wow I just really want a nice croc as a souvenir of my Very Nice Day at the zoo” and you turn up to the gift shop to find a whole bin full of THIS GUY.
Other people on Twitter have replied with the precious idiot croc’s siblings, scooped up lovingly from the same bargain bin. I wholly welcome our fucked up reptilian overlords, but only if they’re absolutely these idiots and not other lizard-people.
Matchies!!! pic.twitter.com/deA8arqAbc
— Spooky scary Skye ???????????? (@Skyehighstudios) October 29, 2018
But lo and behold, the bung crocodile toy has swiftly entered the meme game so grab yourself some Fucked Croc stocks asap, buy buy buy!
— ???? One Fish, Billfish ???? (@BillLongboard) October 30, 2018
