Hiding in the depths of the Australia Zoo in Brisbane on the weekend was something that nobody expected, something so delightfully odd that no enclosure could hold it.

THIS fuckin’ bung-ass croc. This god-damned borked squeaky binch. I love him dearly. Please, take a moment to soak in the brilliance that is this absolutely absurd rubber crocodile toy.

I mean either he’s been left out in the sun for a touch too long and warped beyond repair, or something went horribly wrong (or delightfully right) in the creation process that resulted in this wonky-lookin’ boi. The more I look at it the more I laugh.

What the fuck is even going on I loved this stupid thing so much.

If this croc was a guy in a pub he’d be the one leaning half off a chair, squinting at his phone with one eye closed because the room would spin too much with both eyes open. He’d be the kinda croc that double dumped and spent half the show splayed across a couch trying to tell anyone that would listen just how much he “totally fucking LOVE you, dude“.

It’s a god damned physical MEME and I LOVE IT.

The dumbass bent croc’s owner, Ponah from Brisbane, found this absolute specimen on a trip to Australia Zoo on the weekend, and has since named him ‘Smegma‘ which I mean…all the power to you. You do whatever you want. I know there’s a dog out there named ‘Cumlord‘ and he’s my favourite internet dog, so you extremely do you.

And also massive props for getting journalists and media to write – and probably say – “Smegma the Crocodile toy“. I have to applaud that power move.

So anyway, Smegma’s managed to get a few fans this week, and people have embraced him into their hearts and lives. Hell, people have even drawn fan art of the cooked croc already.

BUT it’s also brought other fucked up toys to the surface, like THIS GUY.

And other people HAVE THE SAME ONE.

And apparently, Smegma’s not alone in how bung he is – ALL OF THEM were like that.

Imagine being at the zoo and thinking “wow I just really want a nice croc as a souvenir of my Very Nice Day at the zoo” and you turn up to the gift shop to find a whole bin full of THIS GUY.

Please Look At This Normal Crocodile Toy, Which Is Having A Normal Time
(Image: Twitter / @FabuPonah)

Other people on Twitter have replied with the precious idiot croc’s siblings, scooped up lovingly from the same bargain bin. I wholly welcome our fucked up reptilian overlords, but only if they’re absolutely these idiots and not other lizard-people.

But lo and behold, the bung crocodile toy has swiftly entered the meme game so grab yourself some Fucked Croc stocks asap, buy buy buy!

More Stuff From PEDESTRIAN.TV

Image: Twitter / @FabuPonah