All Shall Love Cate Blanchett and Despair At The AACTA Awards Red Carpet

The 4th Annual AACTA Awards Ceremony – the ‘Australian Oscars’, if you will – air tonight on Channel 10 at 8:30pm. Which is, like, right now. 
Hosted by veritable national treasures Cate Blanchett and Deborah Mailman, the AACTAs are a celebration of the finest thespians and industry craftspeople that Australia’s nascent film industry has to offer. Because we’re thirsty for any semblance of glamour in this country, the event is preceded by a red carpet of the exact calibre you’re expecting – the photographs from which you have evidently come here in search of.
Here’s what Cate Blanchett will read when she inevitably Googles herself on arriving home later tonight.
#1 Kylie Minogue impersonator Samantha Jade is wearing a lot of dress from a label generously called Pallas Couture. Looking at that hemline situation, all I can think of now are the inverted crew necks shown during Rick Owens‘ peen-baring Paris Menswear Fashion Week show from last week. 
I mean, really? FFS. This is the AACTAs. Show some respect.
Yo, Deb Mailman looks classy AF and I love her 1920s glamour vibe more than I love glamour itself, which isn’t much to begin with, so that’s a fairly moot observation. Five stars.
Gracie Otto, she’s there and she’s wearing ELLERY. Happy for her.
Canberra’s own Mia Wasikowska, nominated for Best Lead Actress, wears Josh Goot and accessorises with shoes and an evident, endearing discomfort at the prospect of participating in the inane ritual of the red carpet. Literally *love* her.
This is [*Googles*] Krew Boylan, who played Schapelle Corby in the Nine Network TV movie biopic of the same name. Very topical!
Because of all the black going on in this picture, it’s hard to comment on what Sophie Lowe’s wearing, which is a pretty redundant practice anyway if we’re being totally honest with each other. She looks at peace with the choices she’s made and I like that.
Here’s what I learned on Googling A Place To Call Home actress Abby Earl: she foregoes the use of undergarments while on auditions; sometimes she conceals a heater in her undercarriage, but only when wearing voluminous skirts; one time she went through acne hell and last year she didn’t diet for the Logies [!!!]. 
All great, true things that happened to actress Abby Earl, who recently followed Susan Sarandon on Twitter. Look at all these valuable things you’re learning. 
Treasure them.
Charlotte Best eyebrows on fleek.
TFW it’s almost Friday. Hang in there, Emma Lung.
Natalie Bassingthwaighte looks every bit the two time Gold Logie nominee for Most Popular TV Personality that she is.
Wow. I can’t believe this is Danielle Cormack, the main character from those ads for prison drama Wentworth that I always see on TV. Despite the cut outs, she looks great not dressed in prison chic loungewear for once. 
But I couldn’t help but wonder: doesn’t she look exactly like the lead actress from a tragically short-lived though nonetheless extremely popular – and iconic – teen drama airing on Network Ten from 2003 to 2007?
Yes! She does. 
Danielle Cormack is everything I want for Mischa Barton’s future and more. Praying for you, Mischa!
Would. No questions asked.

Photo by Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images; Photo by Kristian Dowling/Getty Images