I’ve never been one to get to the cinemas early. My self-control is non-existent and I want my popcorn to last at least a fifth of the way through the film.
That being said, I’ll force anyone coming with me to a Pixar film to get there at least three hours early. Maybe four, depending on traffic. I’d rather eat lemon rind than miss their iconic short films that, as we all know, appear just before the main event starts.
We’re only human though, and I can bet there are some unlucky people out there who were late to the movies, so for those people – and for the rest of us who just want to watch them again – I’ve rounded up the best Pixar shorts from our childhood.
Oh, Geri. How can an animated old man make me feel so many emotions as an oblivious, care-free child? You messed me up for years, Geri.
The premise of Geri’s Game is simple: two dapper-looking seniors play chess against each other in the park. It’s a nail-biting battle of the wits and their expressions have you on the edge of your seat.
That is, until the camera pans out to reveal the major twist – there aren’t two seniors playing a jolly game of chess in the park at all. There’s one – Geri – and he’s merely switching sides, playing against himself.
My heart. My broken, shattered heart.
FOR THE BIRDS
For The Birds was the Pixar short shown alongside Monsters Inc. and, if you had the same childhood as me, this one will be etched into your brain for eternity.
Plot: this larger-than-life blue bird just wants to hang out with his tiny bird peers on powerlines. (Doesn’t sound dangerous in the slightest.)
The problem is, because this big bird is a tad heavier than the rest, he makes the powerlines sag and disrupts the tiny birds’ serenity, or whatever it is birds feel. The other birds aren’t happy in the slightest and they physically try to bully him off the powerlines like brass-poles.
Without spoiling anything, let’s just say that the tiny birds get what’s coming to ’em.
Even though Knick Knack was made way back in 1989, it was so ruddy good that it ended up appearing in theatres alongside Finding Nemo 14 years later.
The story follows a little snowman in a little snowglobe with a little (see: major) problem: he wants a slice of that outside world pie and his snowglobe is keeping him imprisoned.
Does he get out? Does he meet the love of his life? Will he accidentally blow himself up?
This work of art should really be filed under ‘action/thriller’.
Well if this ain’t a wholesome message about body confidence, I implore you to find me one that is.
Hitting theatres with The Incredibles, Boundin’ tells the tale of a dancing sheep who gets his glorious coat of wool sheared by the devil reincarnated (or a sheep shearer, either or).
The sheep then loses his confidence until a friendly ol’ jackalope rocks up to tell him that he’s the exact same person (sheep) he always was and that he’ll rock anybody’s socks no matter what he looks like.
Let’s all make a conscious effort to be more like a jackalope, please.
ONE MAN BAND
What kind of adult harasses a child for a gold coin? Turns out there are two kinds of adults in this world, both of whom feature in One Man Band.
Two street performers are vying for this kid’s (assumingly) hard-earned coin until they go into overdrive, scare the poor child and make them drop the coin down the drain.
The child then demands an instrument from one of the street performers, smashes it outta the park Vivaldi-style and ends up earning a giant sack of coins which the wee one uses to taunt the two deadset kumquats.
(Also, there’s a Steve Jobs thanked in the credits and after a little digging, it turns out it’s *the* Steve Jobs. My mind. It’s blown.)
The plotline of Lifted contains the sorts of shenanigans you’d expect if aliens took a driving test.
However, instead of a driving test, the young alien must pass what can only be described as an ‘abduction test’ – which involves beaming up some unassuming human – only to fail miserably.
Unlike every driving instructor I’ve experienced, the alien abduction instructor has a soft spot for his student and lets him drive the UFO as a consolation prize which, I dunno, seems quite reckless given we’ve just witnessed how inept the student is.
Lastly, I know this is hardly one that you would’ve watched as a kid because it came out like two years ago, but I simply must include Bao because it’s beyond spectacular. Here ya go, my pets:
There’s plenty more where that came from, too.Image: Pixar