A devoted mother to a probably six-year-old child has been thoroughly rinsed online because she made her child a Hercules cake, which accidentally featured a fantastical ding-a-ling.
Her husband sent the image through to excellent/maybe the worst Instagram account, @awkwardfamilyphotos – boasting a whole 555K followers – with the commentary: “The cake my wife made was supposed to portray Pegasus and Baby Pegasus. She doesn’t understand why everyone kept laughing.”
Folks, that is a mythical member. That is magical winged horse with an impressive package. That’s a Pegasus peen.
I suppose Mum was trying to make it look like Baby Pegasus grew up to become the big boy on the cake, living in the blue icing outline clouds. But what she made… was… not that.
That dong is entrancing. It is powerful. It is probably where all his magical properties come from – you kick Pegasus in the dick and his wings fall off.
This cake is not like crudely drawing a peen with icing on your mate’s cake.
It’s not like a hen’s do, where the penises are perfectly crafted.
It was a MISTAKE. An unfortunate accident. And this child, presumably six – six candles on the cake, we’re making an inference – just wanted a cake that celebrated both the day of their birth, and their favourite movie, 1997 Disney classic Hercules. It is baffling that anyone at six years old in 2018 is really, really into Hercules, but who are we to rag on that, or Tate Donovan‘s pre-O.C. voice acting effort.
Quick refresher: 1997 Hercules featured Donovan as our mythological hero – Roger Bart did the singing for him, but RICKY MARTIN did the voice acting and singing in the Spanish language dub. The cast also include Danny DeVito, because it was the ’90s, and James Woods as Hades.
This movie is probably why you became so weird about Greek myth when you were a pre-teen. And maybe you too wanted a cool Pegasus cake. But at least you didn’t end up with this one, which would’ve made you into a schoolyard joke. Be grateful you skipped the childhood trauma.
Never have I been more thankful my mum was never into baking.