Cheese is a little bit like Beyoncé.
It’s always been fucking amazing, but it took a while to be fully appreciated. Let me explain this curd-based analogy.
In 2002, a 22-year-old Beyonce enjoyed a cameo role in Austin Powers: Goldmember. That’s nothing to turn your nose up at (ripper flick), but it didn’t have quite the same cultural impact as Lemonade, did it?
In that same year, my 7-year-old self routinely threw away the plastic cheese slices my mother lovingly packed in my lunchbox. Cheese wasn’t cool. To me, it was the foodstuff of mice and musty-smelling, uppity old folks.
In 2018, cheese is a superstar.
Along with wine, the promise of a lavish Friday night cheese platter is what gets myself and all other basic bitches I know through the work week.
And like Queen Bey, entire festivals are dedicated to the stuff. Luckily for us, one is coming to Melbourne this April.
Fromage a Trois Cheese Festival is the crème de la crème of all cheddar-based celebrations. It’s going down Werribee Park Mansion, on Sunday, April 8th, and the line up looks, well, brielliant.
The gardens will come alive with roving entertainment, lawn games and live music as punters sip some choice plonk and feast the afternoon away. On site there’ll be a tonne of renowned cheesemongers, like Richmond Hill Café & Larder, Maker & Monger, Milk The Cow, Maggie Beer and Meredith Dairy willing and able to take your fromage knowledge from zero to hero.
You’ll be able to wrap your lips ’round bevs by the likes of POPS Premium Popsicles, Shadowfax Wine, Blue Pyrenees and Flying Brick Cider C.
There will also be a chef stage, where seasoned vets from some of Victoria’s fave restaurants will be giving demos. Think Daniel Wilson from Huxtaburger and Shannon Martinex from Smith & Daughters.
The bit that’s got us most weak at the knees, but? Apparently there will be cheese ice cream. Ice cream, but made of cheese. Shook.
You can pick and choose your afternoon tasting plate from the ‘Build Your Own Picnic’ pavilion or avoid queues on the day, adding an expertly prepared Richmond Hill Café & Larder hamper (complete with gourmet cheeses, baguettes, lavosh, figs, quince and more) with ya online ticket purchase to the fest.
There’ll also be a selection of heartier dishes on offer, from freshly made gnocchi and crispy-based pizzas, to gloriously decadent fondue.
A ticket will set you back just shy of $40, and that price includes entry, samples and a festival glass to keep. Any additional cheesestuffs will come at a cost, but what is spending money on cheese, if not a personal investment into your happiness and wellbeing?
You can read more and book here. Entry is free for children 14 and under, when entering with a full paying adult.