Last night’s standout performance at the second Australian Open men’s semi-final didn’t belong to the victor, Andy Murray, nor did it belong to Anna Wintour’s doubles partner and just the nicest guy, Roger Federer.
If you thought beer-guzzling bespectacled Academy Award-winning actor, Kevin Spacey, might’ve put in a spec-tac-ular impromptu performance as he watched on court-side, you’d be wrong.
Perhaps you could be forgiven for thinking that Murray’s girlfriend, Kim Sears – who once brought two peaceful nations to the precipice of war with her particular brand of beauty [angular, brinkmanship] – was the scene-stealing performer, but alas, you would be so wrong. She is pretty though.
No, the MVP at Rod Laver Arena last night was repeat offender Shane Warne.
Warne, 43, with his phosphorescent glow, nimble, lacquered hands and lips, was seen plucking the ball – all but invisible to the naked eye – from mid-air after the Swiss maestro sent a missive into the ether halfway through the fourth nail-biting, neck-stretch, gut-wrenching set.
The ball was speeding toward the ground when the crowd saw him reach out imperceptibly before clapping his hand to his chest as though he was about to be sick – coughed – and something gold fell into his hands. “I’ve got the Snitch!” he shouted, waving it above his head, and the game ended in complete confusion.*
Murray eventually beat Federer in four hours, sniggering, pulling at his crotch and snarling his way though five sets of heart-breaking unforced errors – 6-4 6-7 (5-7) 6-3 6-7 (2-7) 6-2 – to take the last remaining spot in the grand final of Sunday’s Triwizard Tournament against The Durmstrang Institute’s Novak Djokovic.
*Rowling, J.K. ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone,’ (Bloomsbury Publishing, London 1997) 141.
Photo by Ryan Pierse via Getty
