Internet arguments are hardly anything new, but every now and then you come across one that ignites a fire in the heart that nothing can quell, and for me it’s this Twitter argument about whether Tim Tams are classed as biscuits or chocolates. They’re bickies, you fkn heathens.

It all started when @Tditchy15 on Twitter said he needed to settle an argument with a co-worker: are Tim Tam’s chocolates, or biscuits?

To me, the answer is obvious – they are biscuits, with chocolate in and around them. I never dreamed this could be debatable. But upon asking the office staff around me what they think, I was shocked to discover that *some* sick individuals actually think Tim Tams could be classed as chocolates?

When asked what the evidence is to back up such wild claims, my dear co-worker Zac said they are choccies because you refrigerate them… which like, is not a bad call BUT this in itself is debatable as others in the office do not put their Tim Tams or chocolates in the fridge (this is a whole new argument for another day).

Aside from the fact that Arnott’s literally labels them as biscuits and they are sold in the biscuit aisle, I think a good metric to determine whether something is a biscuit or a choccie is to see if you would have it with a cup of tea.

If you would serve it with cookies and dunk it in your cuppa – which we would do for Tim Tams – then they are biscuits. But if you don’t, they are choccies. For example: KitKats are basically wafers dipped in chocolate, not unlike Tim Tams, but they are classed as choccies because we don’t eat them like cookies with tea. The same goes for Milkas, which are technically biscuits coated in chocolate, but would be classed under chocolate because we would eat them like a choccie bar and not like a cookie.

Is this a completely zero-stakes argument that has no effect on the word whatsoever? Yes. Am I going way too hard over this article and harassing every office member for answers anyway? Also yes.

Tim Tams are absolutely biscuits and I will die on this hill. To those who disagree, you are wrong and I feel sorry for you.