A withered old man arduously ascends the stone staircase of a bell tower. His knees on the verge of becoming dust; feet clawed and gnarled, ravaged by arthritis into a punishing lotus gait. Each step on the path upwards dips in the middle, worn-in over time by his constant pounding through thousands, millions of trips up and down. In his heyday, this ascent was done in youthful, energetic bounds; two, three steps at a time. Now, it’s scaling Everest.
He reaches the peak, breathless and light-headed, taking a moment to dab his brow. A rope hangs down from the crusted-over bell, slick from overuse. The old man reaches out, tugging at the rope with every last drop of energy he has left. And as the booming toll of the bell cannons around the town square below he bellows “CHEAP FLIGHTS. CHEAP FLIIIIIIIIGHTS.” The two remaining people who have not yet gone on holiday shoot him a thumbs up.
If, by some miracle, you have not yet capitalised on the bounty of cheap flights that have practically bombarded us all summer long, now is your chance to sneak onto that departing train just as the doors close. Indiana Jones-style.
The kind and good folk over at Jetstar have launched yet another ridiculous international flights sale, furthering their quest to get every single one of us out of the country so they can sneak into our bedrooms and shift everything two inches to the left while we’re gone, just to fuck with us.
So while summer might be slowly disappearing into the rearview mirror, you can hop to it today and cheat winter by stealing a bit of warmth from other parts of the globe like Thailand or Bali or Hawaii, all for a price that won’t even force you to survive on sauce sandwiches for a month.
The sale, which began at midnight last night and lasts all the way through till midnight on Monday, will get you from Sydney or Melbourne to Denpasar for a paltry $219 one-way.
Or if that’s not your bag, how about Melbourne to Singapore for $159?
Or Melbourne/Sydney to Honolulu for $269?
Or Gold Coast to Auckland for $149?
Or Sydney/Melbourne to Ho Chi Minh for $179?
You get the picture. The prices are ridiculous. The locations are bonkers beautiful.
As always, all the prices listed are one-way, online-only, for selected travel periods, and don’t include things like checked baggage or food or any fancy frills like that. But if you’re capable of travelling out of a backpack and don’t mind smashing down airport-bought M&Ms for your sky-high lunch, then you’d be dead-set silly not to get involved.
Peep this list of sale prices and then start rallying the gang: It’s tropical holiday time, y’all!
Sydney or Melbourne to Phuket from $189.
Sydney or Melbourne to Ho Chi Minh from $179.
Melbourne to Bangkok from $189.
Sydney or Melbourne to Queenstown from $159.
Melbourne to Singapore from $159.
Perth to Singapore from $109.
Gold Coast to Auckland from $149.
Townsville to Bali from $99.
Darwin to Singapore from $119.
Sydney to Christchurch from $125.
Sydney or Melbourne to Christchurch from $125.
Gold Coast to Christchurch from $139.
Sydney to Honolulu from $269.
Melbourne to Honolulu from $269.
Sydney or Melbourne to Bali from $219.
Brisbane to Bali from $209.
Perth to Bali from $129.
The hot link, with all the good biz, is right sodding here. Get involved.
Source: Jetstar.
