I would do a lot of things for $300. Hell, I would do a lot of things for $50. If we’re being honest, the list of things that I would do for $20 is probably still quite long. Would I take $400 to spend 30 hours in a coffin? It’s dicey. Real dicey.
[jwplayer gvkTjsCy]
This is what the fun-merchants at Six Flags are offering to any brave soul who manages to weather a 30-hour period inside a 70cm by 210cm ‘slightly used’ coffin in mid-October. Honestly, it’s a mixed bag. You are given constant meals and snacks. You are given a charging station for your phone. You are given one six-minute toilet break every hour, which is fine if you really need to piss a bunch but not ideal if you are a nervous pooer. An attendant is always on hand. So far so good.
What makes this not so great is the warning that you will receive ‘Random visits by our Fright Fest Freaks’. What does that mean? How frequently are these random visits? How freakish are these Fright Fest Freaks? I’m OK with the idea of slyly having a few edibles, climbing into the coffin, and spending 30 hours high out of my mind listening to Last Podcast on the Left, but I am not happy with the idea of having some fuckhead in a horror costume swinging my coffin door open and making me crap myself in front of a bunch of children. No thanks.
The good news is that you (most likely) will not be doing this, unless you feel like making it to beautiful St Louis, Missouri by October 13th. If by obscene chance, you reckon you might be, you can fill in the entry form and make sure you meet all the requirements for being temporarily stored in a small box right here.
