Well, there’s news and then there’s news, mates. And as far as hard-hitting journalism goes, penises that appear on top of mountains is right up there in “shit that’ll score me a Walkley nom in 2018″.

Over the weekend, news broke of a mystery wooden penis sculpture that materialised on top of Mount Oetscher in lower Austria. It was found by blogger Marika Roth, who uploaded a bunch of pics on her Facebook page.

 

Yes, I am well aware what that snow on top looks like.

Here’s what’s weird about this. Mount Oetscher is 1,893 in height. That’s a VERY steep climb if you want to lug a wooden dick up there and not take any claim for it, don’t you think?

According to The Poke, there’s a Finnish pastime called leirikyrpä, or “camp cock” (wot) in which people pass the time when camping by…. carving wooden dicks.

 

 

A Mysterious Wooden Peen Has Appeared Atop An Austrian Mountain
Credit: Imgur

Righto. That would maybe explain it, except that dick from a camp site is sort of normal-sized, and this one on top of Mount Oetscher is more human sized, at the very least.

Whatever the realities are of carving wooden dicks on top of mountains, here’s hoping the carving ~artiste~ comes forward and explains the whole thing. Is this a sign of the end times? Did an Austrian god (are there Austrian gods?) carve this?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN TO BE, LARGE WOODEN PEEN. WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE.

Image: Facebook / MarikasBergUndNaturerlebnisse