Instead of trying to sell you on Jetstar’s Christmas sale, I’m just going to rattle off reasons you shouldn’t take advantage of the discounted fares. Consider me the final barrier between you and the decision to do something drastic, like having fun in a foreign locale.
Take, for instance, flights from Melbourne to Tokyo’s Narita airport, which start at $323. The sale covers flights between May 13 to June 22, which is just a matter of weeks after the region’s cherry blossom season. Imagine travelling all that way and not seeing the trees in full bloom. Disgusting.
How about these flights from Melbourne to Honolulu, which start from $189? Well. PEDESTRIAN.TV‘s Head of Editorial, Josie Rozenberg-Clarke, has previously expounded on the virtues of the tropical paradise for this very website, but I’m here to tell you that sand might get in your jocks. Pass.
Fancy a trip to Bali? Yeah, you would, wouldn’t you. A spare $209 will transport you from the Victorian capital to Denpasar, where you’ll be able to savour one of the Asia-Pacific region’s most treasured tourism hotspots. That same $209 would go most of the way to paying off your next Myki fine.
Jesus Christ, don’t even get me started on the domestic deals. $75 will get you from Sydney to Hobart in time for Dark Mofo, where you might be subjected to performances from one of the most influential pop artists of the decade. You could even hoof it over to Melbourne for $45; we highly recommend against doing so, as experiencing a nicer city may be detrimental to your wellbeing upon your return.
Get around the full list of deals here, where you’ll also be able to cop the full terms and conditions associated with each flight.
The sale ends Monday night. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.Image: Anton Petrus / Getty Images