It’s Official! Australia Is The (Second) Best Country In The World

Yeah, Australia! Kicking arse and getting that silver. The United Nations Human Development report has had its latest edition released and it contains nothing but good news for those of us living large and in charge in the Antipodes.
The report measures improvements in areas such as health and longevity, income and education, and personal security. And Australia? We killed it in all four. In fact out of all the nations in the world, we ranked second. Second! That’s a podium finish! We only got beaten by Norway, and they probably bribed them or sat at the front every class and sucked up or something like that. Nation full of teacher’s pets, is what I’m getting at. But so what? We can ollie way higher on our skateboards than them, and Norway like, probably hasn’t even ever kissed a girl or whatever.
The report isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, however. The report found that, on a global scale, improvements in overall lifespan are being slowed due to natural disasters, misguided government policies and an increasing gap in wealth inequality – the 85 wealthiest people in the world control the same amount of money as the poorest 3.5 billion, for example.
But the solutions to the problems are all quite simple, with job creation and basic services emphasised as the two key areas that every country could always improve on, and the implementation of which would not only result in reducing poverty to zero, but keeping it there as well.
The top on the UNHD’s list was rounded out by – or, to put another way, the next three countries we totally smashed were Switzerland (because Cadbury’s chocolate is way better), the Netherlands (who we belted in hockey) and the United States (less guns, less tornadoes, and our version of football actually uses players feet from time to time).
Suck it, other countries. We’re number two! We’re number two!


Photo: Michael Dodge via Getty Images.


via SMH.

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