How Not To Die At A Full Moon Party


If mainstream media is correct then by attending a Full Moon Party in Thailand there is a high probability we’ll end up dead. Or, even worse, end up on A Current Affair.

For the most part, this is bullshit. You’re no more likely to die at a Full Moon Party on Haad Rin as you are on a night out in Kings Cross. In saying that, there is still a plethora of ways you can get yourself into a big stinking pile of trouble if you don’t keep your head on a swivel.

For those of you who don’t know, a Full Moon Party is basically an all-night beach party on Koh Phangan, Thailand. Started back in 1985, it has grown to attract up to thirty thousand people. Full Moon Parties are notorious for fire skipping ropes, body paint, extraordinary amounts of drugs and alcohol and a cohort of wasted backpackers who are predominately concerned with ingesting as much of the later as possible.

If you do plan on attending one of these parties in the future (you should, they’re delightful), here are some hot tips on how to come home from it relatively unscathed.

Wear closed shoes

Closed shoes? On a beach? Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? You won’t think so after you see the sheer number of people who have their night cut short by gashed feet (somewhere in the 1000s). Drunks are notoriously rubbish at disposing of their drinks thoughtfully, which turns the sand into a minefield of broken bottles. The ‘medical’ professionals on Haad Rin say this is the most common injury they treat.

Stay off scooters

As there is a lack of police on the island, many (stupid) travellers take it as an excuse to drink a litre of whiskey and burn scooters around roads they’ve never seen before. Not only are the roads poorly lit and poorly made, but what they don’t realise is that there are other (stupid) travellers doing the same thing. After they crash (which is inevitable) they have the joy of going back home and trying to claim that $16000 dental job on travel insurance. Hot tip, it isn’t covered.

Stay away from drugs
Look, we’ve all been there. But we’ve been there in countries where the penalty for being in possession of drugs is a slap on the wrist. In Thailand, if you get caught with a ‘high’ class drug (heroin, ice, ecstasy, cocaine) then best case scenario you spend 1-10 years in prison or be charged $700 – $7000. Worst case scenario you have enough on you that warrants intent to sell, for which the penalty is death. For ‘low’ class drugs (marijuana, mushrooms) you can land yourself a year in jail and a $700 fine. On Haad Rin you should be able to bribe yourself out of any trouble, but save your wallet the heartache and stick to the buckets.

Drink from your own bucket

This has nothing to do with drink spiking. In all probability 99% of people who go to a Full Moon Party and say they had their drink spiked probably just drank too much from random buckets. The ‘but I only had a couple of drinks’ doesn’t add up when you’ve smashed through your best mate’s bucket containing half a bottle of vodka. If you can manage to stick to your own bucket (it’s tough, we know) then your future-self will thank you in the morning.

Stay away from fire

Fire. It’s what separated us from the monkeys (and that whole walking thing). Through the ages it’s drawn mankind towards it. No matter how much your biology screams at you to go and jump on a flaming skipping rope or duck under the flaming limbo, don’t do it. The Thai guys who are doing it have been around that stuff since they were kids, and even they have the burns to prove how much of a bad idea it can be.



Alcohol + swimming = bad idea


Swimming when under the influence of alcohol is not a great idea in any situation. At a Full Moon Party, it can be disastrous. Thailand is incredibly tidal, and on Koh Phangan the tide goes out pretty damn far at night. So for you to get to deep enough water, not only is it a long trek, but it is a trek through beer bottles and thousands of dudes who decided they didn’t want to pay to use a toilet and would rather use the one that nature provided for them. Not advisable.

Don’t be a dickhead

This should be a number one rule when travelling anywhere, but on Koh Phangan it should be taken as gospel. Everyone is drunk. Everyone is there to have a good time. So don’t go and ruin it by acting like a douchebag.

Photos: Paula Bronstein via Getty

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