If there’s one thing I don’t wanna do on holiday, it’s clean.

I’m here to unwind, relax, maybe escape my life for a bit. Pretend I am actually an influencer on their weekly holiday with not a care in the world. Responsibilities? I don’t know her.

Nothing kills that sexy fantasy more than having to wash the dishes before bed (the worst chore).

When I book an Airbnb, I cop it. I mean, that’s kinda the point, right? You forego the luxuries of room service for the sake of having a cheaper stay with more character. It’s also a less formal setting, and you can find some pretty convenient locations rather than just CBDs.

Maybe a hotel room will magically clean itself while I’m out to brunch, but I can book an Airbnb that’s stylish AF and cheaper. All I have to do is clean up after myself, right? Wrong.

Because these days Airbnbs cost just as much as hotels and lemme tell ya, I am not paying that much to be my own maid!!!! Imagine paying to clean, couldn’t be me (anymore).

For one of my partner’s recent birthdays, I booked him a cute loft Airbnb in Sydney’s CBD. It was gorgeous and had an indoor tree (so cool!!), and I felt it was worth the $200 per night cost.

And then came the cleaning fee, which did not cover most of the actual cleaning we had to do — we still had to wash up, strip the bed and pop the sheets in the laundry, make sure all the dishes were dried and placed back in cupboards among other things. Basically, we left it cleaner than we found it despite our checkout time being early AF and paying a cleaning fee.

The stress levels had me feeling like I’d just moved out of an apartment with an extremely expensive bond. Or like I was house-sitting for a frighteningly pedantic person, but *I* was paying *them* for the honour of looking after their space.

I ended up paying more than $250 for the night — the same price of the nearest Meriton, without the balcony views, 10/10 room service or 12pm late check-out I am often gifted by hotels.

And once you add the cleaning, the quiet hours, and the hosts who I essentially have to hand my itinerary over to — what is going on??? Is the novelty here really worth it???

Honestly, bring back holidays being about rest, luxury, and not having to worry about pissing off neighbours.

Unless you need to book a whole house for a big trip with friends (though not if you plan to have party vibes, because Airbnb has banned this too), hotels are where it’s at, baby!

Entering my new hot(el) girl era, where I do not have to clean on a trip I am paying an arm and a leg for.

Image: Sony Pictures