So it’s hot as hell out there, but you and your crew want to remain fresh til death. The summer months are here, and you’re searching for that ever-elusive way to keep things as chill and photogenic as possible.
Sure, you could just grab a blow up pool from your nearest generic department store and slam down a few Vodka Cruisers whilst wearing a cheap, plastic lei and some winged sunnies from the $2 shop. That’s perfectly acceptable. There’s nothing wrong with that. Heck, it’s always a real nice time.
But maybe you’ve got a few spare days up your sleeve. Maybe you’re looking to blast whatever yawn factory you’re in and catch some summer vibez in a pad so flash its name must be Gordon.
Airbnb has low-key some of the most unbelievable joints you’re ever likely to lay eyes on, and we’ve sifted through the pile to shine a spotlight on the best of the lot.
What’s more, they’re all available – right now – for you to rent for a few days. Turn your summer up to eleven, and go (temporarily) live like kings! Damn hell ass kings!
If beach livin’, whale watchin’, and wakin’ up to the sun rising over an uninterrupted view of the Pacific Ocean don’t actively pique your interest, please check your pulse at soon as you possibly can. Please. We’re worried about you. This sounds serious.
On the very tip of Sydney‘s northern beaches, Whale Beach is one of the more spectacular vistas NSW has to offer, and this joint does it all the justice in the world.
A pair of outwardly facing bedrooms, a deck fronting directly sea-ward, and WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT BATHROOM, FFS. There’s whale watching and beach hiking and boat hiring to be done here as well.
Explore your city, Sydneysiders. Get. Around. It.
Then again, if a giant, balling night out in Melbourne with you and your entire crew sounds more up your alley, you’d be well served to give this one a look in.
Sleeping up to eight people, this Docklands pad boasts three levels, two balconies, and views of the CBD good enough to live out even the most of outlandish Entourage–style fantasies you could possibly ever have. Y’know, minus the millions of dollars and acting talent, that is. Unless you’ve got those things. In which case, more power to you.
Within easy walkin’ distance of the city, Crown, Etihad Stadium, and heaps more, you could certainly do much, much worse than a solid chill on the balcony #2 with a stiff drink in hand.
Say it with us: BIG. SUMMER. ROAD TRIP. Now’s as good a time as any to mimic one of those fancy new-age TV ads that has a bunch of young people hanging out in remote beach settings with some light acoustic roots music playing over the top and everyone’s having a young and carefree time and you have no idea what they’re selling until the totally unrelated product logo shows up right at the end.
Here’s a Byron Bay paradise shack that sleeps 12 – TWELVE – and has the beach so close by that the nearest parking spot is actually further away.
Also there’s an onsite manager who’ll whip your entire squad up a shithot breakfast every morning. SOLD.
‘Course there’s close to the beach, then there’s close to the beach, and then there’s this utter ridiculousness.
A literal waterfront giant on the Gold Coast’s Mermaid Beach that sleeps up to fifteen of you and your best. Imagine being able to roll out of bed, into the surf, do beach related things during the day and wind things up in this pad that’s a literal stone’s throw from the surf.
Seriously. Imagine it.
Imagine.
This summer, that could be you.
The again, if a bit of peace, quiet, solitude and serenity is more your speed, then porhaps this veritable Rancho Relaxo is more your speed.
Seal Rocks is a bit over an hour and a half north of Newcastle, and it looks utterly freaking spectacular, TBH.
And this particular joint sports three restored lighthouse keepers cottages, on a property that comes complete with an actual lighthouse that you can go and look at.
The whole joint is nestled inside a National Park, so the hiking game is off the charts. Chuck in snorkelling and swimming and DID WE MENTION THE LIGHTHOUSE THAT YOU GET ALL TO YOURSELVES AT NIGHTTIME?
And then there’s this. Forget Williamsburg. And don’t even worry about the Lower East Side. You won’t need to take the F Train to get here. Just any line heading out of Flinders towards Richmond Station.
It’s a swank-as-all-getup NYC-style loft right in the heart of Richmond, that’s so close to the MCG you’d barely need to use your own lights at night.
Richmond’s a stupidly underrated part of Melbourne, with cafes, bars, and shopping a-plenty. And Melbourne’s sporting district is *literally* down the road, so a swan through the Victorian capital to catch some International Cricket, Australian Open Tennis, or some A-League football over the summer months should be well on the cards.
IT’S A FREAKING BOAT, FER CRYING OUT LOUD.
YOU CAN ACTUALLY HIRE A REAL, NO FOOLING, WATER-FLOATING-ON BOAT TO STAY IN.
And it is super fance, to boot.
We just… we don’t know how you could ever need anymore selling than that. Float on!
If you’re really fanging to get well away from everything, there’s this absolute ripper nestled in the hills of Myrrhee – about a four hour drive northeast of Melbourne, in the Victorian Highlands.
It’s chock full of nature and farm living, yet only a couple of staggering minutes away from an array of highly regarded wineries and restaurants.
Think about it. You. With yo’ boo. Sitting outside next to a crackling open fire. The clear night sky twinkling away. A bottle of fancy red warming the veins.
That’s magic, pals. Pure, unadulterated magic.
And for those of you who aren’t so much “from Victoria” as you are “repping the mighty New South Wales Blues,” your nature retreat is tucked away up in the Blue Mountains.
And we do mean “up in the Blue Mountains” very literally. This place is an actual, real life, no fooling treehouse. Commence hyperventilating.
There’s windows all-over-the-bloody-place up here and views that are absolutely to die for. Ever nuded up and had a bath on the edge of oblivion? Now’s your chance!
Then again, getting away doesn’t always have to mean venturing enormous distances away from home. Why not take a break in your own town by shacking up in a legendary pad on the cool side of town? Y’know, bathe in how the other half live for a little while?
There’s this seriously dope pad in Manly up for grabs that you and six of your besties could lap up the life of luxury within reaching distance of Manly Beach.
Honestly, it’s the pad of all your rap video dreams. You’d be mad not to have a crack at a weekend away here.
You hear us? MAD, WE TELL YOU.
Images: Airbnb.
