Comic’s Pass-Agg Masterclass Goes Viral After Destroying Someone’s Holiday

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Published

February 26, 2017

Stand-up comics are, for the most part, not to be fucked with. Look at it this way: the maniacs who make their living by staring judgmental strangers in the face, night after night, have to be adept at handling confrontation by default.

This holds true even if you’re not aware you’re dealing with a comic. Unfortunately, this vital life advice may be a few days late for one would-be airline passenger, who managed to irk U.S. performer Steve Hofstetter.

In a Facebook post which has since gone inconceivably viral, Hofstetter described a recent incident in which he unleashed a sneaky manoeuvre so passive-aggressive, it may actually count as full-on aggression.

The dude claims he may have made a seemingly self-centred woman miss her flight from the U.S. to Tokyo, all because she was inconsiderate of others waiting at the airport.

“While walking to my gate at LAX, I noticed a woman whose dog was in the middle of doing its business. The woman was loudly face-timing with her back to the dog, so I assumed she didn’t notice. That was likely the thought shared by the gentleman who tried to get her attention.

““Excuse me, miss?” he said, in a polite tone. The woman glared at him. “Your dog,” he sheepishly continued, pointing to the mid-poop pup. The woman rolled her eyes and went back to face time as the man slinked away, seemingly embarrassed.

““Some people,” she bellowed to her face-time companion with no hint of irony, “are just so damned rude.””

It’s at this point Hofstetter, who was on his way to Japan for a gig, noted how obnoxious she was being – listening to tunes on speaker in a crowded terminal, still not giving the faintest concern to her pup’s business, the lot.

“I don’t like to throw around the word “sociopath” but I don’t know how else I could explain just how selfish and terrible of a person she was…

“Everyone else tried to ignore her, sitting as far away from her as they could. I am not everyone else.

“I sat down right next to the horrible woman. “Are you going to London on business?” I said.

““I’m going to Tokyo,” she responded gruffly, annoyed that I interrupted her DJing.

“Oh, I said. Then you better hurry. That flight got moved to gate 53C. This is the flight to London.””

You can probably piece together what happened next, but hell, it’s our duty to tell you regardless. Hofstetter says he believed the ruse would set off a “moment of panic” in his newfound nemesis, but nope. She packed up, and trudged off to the other side of the airport.

He wrote “I felt guilty knowing she probably berated some poor clerk who had to explain to her that there was no gate 53C,” but more importantly, he noted “I don’t know if she made it back to this flight before we took off or not, but I didn’t see her board and I don’t hear her dog.”

The sheer, utter brutality of it all was capped off by his final sentences: “Maybe she can re-book on another airline. I hear they have people for that.”

The yarn has been shared a cool 1,250 times with a potential audience of tens of thousands, so it’s not inconceivable the dog-owner in question has realised by now she’d been diverted over a gee-up.

If you’re doubting the veracity of the story – and it is quite a stretch to believe, so we don’t entirely blame you – you might have the chance to question Hofstetter about it when he brings his act to Australia in early May.

Until then, contemplate cleaning up after your doggo, and clock the full post here:

Source: Steve Hofstetter / Facebook.
Photo: Michael Schwartz / Getty.