To top off this batshit year, China has unveiled it’s brand new ‘Flying Kiss’ ride and I have never been so happy to have my feet on the ground.

The ride, which is now available to jump on, is located in southwestern China’s Chongqing Municipality and overlooks a 915m cliff.

That’s like, 183 average-sized giraffes stacked on top of each other. (Yes, I looked that up.)

It is honestly complete horror fuel, and puts my fear of heights into full fkn swing. Essentially a male and a female statue swing around with you on their massive hands and kiss, while you watch the ground look further and further away.

It is truly a feat of human engineering, and even watching the video makes my stomach CRAWL. Flying kiss this bad boy goodbye.

“The giant statues, holding you up on rotating observation decks with one arm, bring you up into the sky for a spectacular view that is unforgettable,” an official description of the ride states.

“There are no seats, seat belts, or safety harnesses for the entire ride. For safety, there is simply a waist-high gate. You are free to move about the observation deck throughout the duration of the ride as the carousel turns and rises – giving you spectacular views of the surrounding mountains and valleys below.”

“The two statues represent two lovers from a Chinese mythical love story and the big finale is when the pair reach their highest elevation, at which point the two statues ‘kiss.’”

All I would like to know is how the hell do you get on this ride? Do the lovers also bend over and drop their hollow cages onto the ground like wicked giants? Too many questions, not enough answers TBH.

Naturally, the ride has picked up the attention of social media, who have already turned down the ride with a complete 100000000% fuck no.

When lockdown restrictions end and travel resumes, you better believe that this ungodly contraption will be the last thing on my list of things to go and see.

You can catch me safely planted on the ground at a local COVID-safe park near you.