A rite of passage when going on a road trip anywhere in Australia is seeing at least one (1) fucking giant thing on your travels. It’s simply not a drive through country Australia without passing some big version of whatever that town’s known for. The Big Banana, the Big Pineapple, the Big Koala, the Big Potato that looks like a giant turd — we’ve got ’em all. But which one of these big bitches is the best of the lot? The people have spoken, and now we know.
Clearly fed up with everyone and their dog claiming that the Big Thing nearest to them is the country’s most elite giant mascot, ABC Rural’s Warwick Long decided to end the debate once and for all. He pulled a bunch of the beloved lordge icons from around the country into a massive bracket, and pitted them against each other with a public polling.
POLL TIME (2nd Thread): What is the best 'big thing,' in Australia?
Each round has a head to head match up between big things with the winner moving to the next round.
Google is your friend if you don't know the big thing.
VOTE IN THE THREAD pic.twitter.com/z95CqqNQaE
— Warwick Long (@Warwick_Long) November 30, 2021
Everything from the Big Peanut in Kingaroy, Queensland, to Kurri Kurri’s Big Kookaburra and the Big Wheelbarrow in Wedgefield, WA featured among the 64 entrants, and today the champion was crowned.
It was a neck and neck race between Larry the Big Lobster (which you can find near Kingston in South Australia) and everyone’s fave Hume Highway piss stop — Rambo the Big Merino in Goulburn. People went hard on the campaign trail to push for their beloved thing to take the title, with Larry stans (not to be confused with Larry Stylinson stans) flooding feeds with calls to vote for their favourite crustacean that can be seen from space.
LARRY THE LOBSTER!!
(See post below) pic.twitter.com/E5Qq7QqUe8
— Cressida Dunnart (@CDunnart) November 30, 2021
People, I like prawns as much as the next person, but, Larry the Lobster can be seen from space!
Also shelters small children (awww, caring Larry), AND has fabulous mouth parts!!
— Cressida Dunnart (@CDunnart) December 2, 2021
After a tight 24hr battle between the two iconic road trip legends, Larry the Lobby nudged ahead on Tuesday morning to snatch the crown with 52.9% of the vote. Good lord, the big bitch really did win by a mere oceanic whisker, didn’t he?
POLL: Best big thing?
Big Lobster (Larry) – Kingston SE SA
Big Merino – Goulburn NSW
— Warwick Long (@Warwick_Long) December 5, 2021
????????????WINNER OF THE POLL OF BIG THINGS ????????????
????LARRY THE LOBSTER, KINGSTON SE ????
Larry was the comeback king – coming from behind against the pineapple and then the big merino to ultimately take the title.
Congratulations Larry! pic.twitter.com/C6ccoBmBWi
— Warwick Long (@Warwick_Long) December 6, 2021
Incredible that after all this time, it still came down to the four big things we love the most: the Pineapple, the Banana, the Merino, and the big, terrifying, extremely-realistic Lobster, and the lobby came out on top.
I welcome our powerful new pinchy overlord, long may he reign and oversee weary travellers doing the drive to the hellmouth, despite not having a massive set of balls around the back like the Big Merino.