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Let me make this very clear: I am a born-and-bred Australian who, despite very much wanting to and it only being three hours away, has never been to New Zealand. I have, however, spent two weeks travelling Europe in a Tui-branded van with a bunch of Kiwis.

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You bet I copped it for laughing at words like “chilly bin” or “jandals”. Oooft, was not pretty and the rivalries between the neighbouring countries is real. The latest ad from Lynx NZ has stirred up some of the most common bites had between the two as well. It’s good shit:

Yep, the back and forth is alive and well, so let’s try and put these to rest once and for all.

Fush and chups VS FIIIIsh and chIIIps

Aussies absolutely love making fun of the way New Zealanders say fish and chips – myself included – but this is redundant as a dig considering they can serve that one right back to you. Maybe the way Australians say fiiiish and chiiips is actually more lol-worthy, you know? Nice try, but two can play this game. It’s an accent at the end of the day – we all fucking have one.

nz vs australia

Chilly bin VS esky

This one’s interesting. New Zealanders call eskies chilly bins, or Australians call chilly bins eskies, depending on which side you sit. Turns out Aussies use the term esky as a result of a Sydney refrigeration company, Malley’s (kinda like how adhesive plasters are now just known as Band-Aids which is, in fact, a brand, not a product). Chilly bin makes perfect sense though (while still funny because it’s not what Aussies are used to) as it’s essentially a bin that chills things. I reckon NZ wins this one for creativity alone.

Jandals VS Thongs

I hate to say it, but I think NZ wins this one too. We all know that thongs are often the term used for G-bangers – which is funny, yes – but the combination / abbreviation of Japanese sandals makes far more sense.


Australia trying to claim every NZ celebrity

No one knows how this one happens, but it happens. I’ll admit I thought Lorde was Aussie before I discovered otherwise. It’s not like I knew she was from New Zealand and decided it would be better if she was from Australia. I don’t know who’s leading the sorcery tbh. But it absolutely happens. Is it like me saying I’m from Terrigal when I’m actually from Gosford because it’s easier? WHO KNOWS. Result? Tie.


NZ owns the pavlova VS Oz owns the pavlova

Perhaps the sweetest rivalry of them all (not sorry) is the debate around who is able to claim the pavlova. Turns out it’s neither, lol. Another tie.

New Zealander Dr Andrew Paul Wood + Australian Annabelle Utrecht traced the origin of the pav for two years. The result? They “categorically state” that the modern pavlova began as a German torte which wound up travelling to America where it became what it is today.


Well fuck me.

Image: Instagram / @juliandennison