There’s nothing worse than leaving your stuff in an Uber, especially if it’s valuable or has some kind of sentimental value to you. But hey, we all have moments of baffling clumsiness, don’t we?

To celebrate Mercury going into Retrograde on April 9 (according to astrology, this is the time when everything goes to shit), Uber have released their Lost & Found Index.  
Essentially, they’re spilling the beans on all the strange crap you weirdos have left in their cars, along with some other interesting stats. 
Let’s start with the boring – the 10 most commonly forgotten items. 
  1. Phone 
  2. Ring 
  3. Keys 
  4. Wallet 
  5. Glasses 
  6. Purse 
  7. License / ID 
  8. Gloves / Glove 
  9. Charger 
  10. Sunglasses
Cool, but also very vanilla, let’s get to the juicy stuff. Here’s 45 of the most unique lost items. Because I’m a good and nice bloke, I’ve highlighted the ones that I find the weirdest so we can collectively share our bewilderment. 
  1. Paintings
  2. Lobster
  3. Sweet potato care package
  4. Payslip
  5. Guitar
  6. Engagement Ring
  7. Rubber Mallet
  8. School Papers
  9. Chair
  10. Chips
  11. Notary bag
  12. Pool stick
  13. Smoke Machine
  14. Valuable Nordic Walking Poles
  15. Pearl earrings
  16. Wedding outfit
  17. Hard drive
  18. Stroller
  19. Crime & Punishment book
  20. Grill set
  21. Meat packet
  22. Wooden Hat
  23. Lottery ticket
  24. Back massage device
  25. Rose Quartz
  26. Mustard
  27. Bible
  28. Elf cut-out
  29. Tap handle
  30. Expensive slipper
  31. Harry Potter glasses
  32. Salsa Verde
  33. Kite
  34. Cape
  35. Potted plant
  36. Nintendo
  37. Dog Sweater
  38. Contact Lenses
  39. Diary
  40. Tickets
  41. Arm sling
  42. Vacuum
  43. Jewellery Box
  44. Money bag
  45. Violin
I know what you’re thinking. What in dog’s name is a “sweet potato care package”? Allow me to respond with “fucked if I know”
Moving on, here’s the most forgetful cities.
  1. Perth
  2. Gold Coast
  3. Adelaide
  4. Melbourne
  5. Brisbane
  6. Sydney
  7. Canberra
  8. Hobart
The most forgetful days of the week. 
  1. Sunday
  2. Saturday
  3. Friday
  4. Monday
  5. Thursday
  6. Tuesday
  7. Wednesday 

And finally, the 5 most forgetful days of 2016.

  1. October 30
  2. December 11
  3. December 18
  4. December 4
  5. November 20
Quit forgetting your lobsters, you strange units. 
Photo: Dude, Where’s My Car.