It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single tech bro in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a quick fix to provide them with some sort of sense of spirituality. Silicon Valley tech dudes love trying to get back the human experiences they forfeited by chaining themselves to algorithms all their lives. They love Burning Man – so much so that they made their own version that the plebs can’t come to. If a correlation exists between the sales of a Tesla-branded surfboard and tech people getting amongst the waves, they’re also trying to get into surfing.
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As The Verge is reporting, Tesla quickly sold out of the boards, which were going for just over $2000 Australian dollars and of which they made 200 available. According to Tesla, they were designed by the Tesla design studios “in collaboration with Lost Surfboards and Matt ‘Mayhem’ Biolos, surfboard shaper for World Surf League Championship athletes“.
The top of the board was done with the same finish as Tesla’s cars, which is probably a huge deal for the right kind of nerd:
The Limited Edition Tesla Surfboard features a mix of the same high-quality matte and gloss finishes used on all our cars. The deck is reinforced with light-weight ‘Black Dart’ carbon fiber, inspired by the interiors in our cars, and featuring tonal logos in subtle contrast gloss.
I imagine you’re probably devastated that you missed out, but don’t stress: people are already flogging them (note: they have not even begun shipping them yet) for around $7,000 on eBay. When you gotta grift, you gotta grift.
