Segway, the company behind those awkward two-wheeled contraptions used almost exclusively by tourists, is now releasing some fucked up roller shoes. Well, they’re less shoes and more, uh, platforms, I guess. While the product itself was announced last month, the price has just been revealed, and it’s a hefty one.

These bad boys, which are like a cross between Heelys and a Hoverboard, will set you back $US399 ($538). If you ask me, that’s a pretty expensive way to break an arm.

The self-balancing platform thingos are called Segway Drift W1s and you can watch them in action in the video below.

Wow, if they look weirdly awkward to use in this professionally made video, imagine what you’d look like using them for real. I can just picture a gaggle of tourists rolling awkwardly around Circular Quay stopping every two minutes because uncle Barry‘s legs keep drifting apart like that Jean-Claude Van Damme ad.

According to the product’s page, each unit will weigh roughly 3.5kg and have a max speed of 12km/h. How long their charge lasts “depends on riding style and terrain,” but Segway wager it’s about 45 minutes of use.

And if you’re worried about safety – which you probably should be – they come with a free helmet. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like they’re shipping to Australia just yet, but like the OG Segway, I’m sure they’ll find their way here eventually.

Until then, just get some rollerskates or something.

Source: TechCrunch
Image: Segway