Robots have come a long way in the past ten, or even five years, but the company who seems to have the most consistent and startling breakthroughs, Boston Dynamics, has just taught its Atlas robot how to do fucking parkour.
The last time we heard from Boston Dynamics was when Atlas was doing backflips, which is scary enough as it is, but now it’s jumping up staggered steps like a goddamn gymnast. It even does a little victory skip at the top as if it’s mocking our fear. Look at it below. LOOK.
Can you hear its deathly whispers? “I’m going to murder you and everything you’ve ever loved,” it says. I mean, not literally, but it’s the only reasonable way I can translate the actions I’m seeing. This robot is going to destroy humanity, mark my words, folks.
Boston Dynamics also has a fleet of terrifying dog-like robots which I can’t seem to watch without imagining an enormous gun mounted on their backs. See for yourself and tell me they don’t scare the piss out of you.
That’s right, it can open doors, bitch. Boston Dynamics is Skynet.
But look, maybe I’m being a little too hysterical here. I mean, these robots are still pretty unco, you could push one over and it would take a minute or two to get itself up. In other words, we still have the upper hand… For now.
But it’s only a matter of time before the robots can do complex dance moves, folks. Prepare yourself for the end.Image: Boston Dynamics