Each year on Valentine’s Day the good folks over at PornHub throw all you horny mongrels a bone by allowing access to the site’s premium section free of charge. Bless their kind hearts.
Unsurprisingly, this tends to draw in a massive amount of traffic because, you know, people love watching porn. Because they’re also hella keen on data, they recently released some interesting statistics around our V-Day habits.
Looking at the month of February in 2017, PornHub recorded a 308 percent increase in traffic to the premium site. I gotta tell ya, that shit looks dramatic as hell on a graph.
But it’s at the heart of PornHub’s analytics where our thoughts and feelings on that special day are really revealed. For the most part, they’re kinda sweet, but also peppered with the same kind of smut you’d expect.
These are the searches that increased the most on Valentine’s Day.
Yep, ok, that all looks to be in order. Valentine, cupid, love, massage, cucko… Oh fucking hell, guys. We can’t go five searches without looking for cuckold porn? I guess not.
That’s one hell of an increase for “valentine” searches – a whopping 3,481 percent. I’m not entirely sure what exactly is classified as valentine porn, but hey, it seems to be a popular choice.
Good to know the day also gets folks riled up babysitters, rough sex, and quickies, too. Nice.
The last notable spike PornHub saw was when the bung missile alert message was sent out in Hawaii earlier this year. Traffic dropped by 77 percent in the region after the message was received, and then jumped up 48 percent above average just after residents were given the all clear.
There’s nothing like pumping out a quick one after being told you’re not actually going to die.
Welp, I’m sure it’s back to business as usual for the porn site now that Valentine’s Day is done and dusted for another year. As you were.
