Sigh. Aiight. Let’s get this out of the way, folks: there is no cutthroat, mercenary or ne’er-do-well operating under the nom-de-plume of Jayden K. Smith attempting to hack 2 billion Facebook accounts at the same time.

The latest online hoax comes in the form a message forwarded by your most dimwitted mate – the same one who broke his leg jumping between two boats in Croatia that one time – and, like the chain emails of yore, says that you need to forward a message in order to avoid some unspeakable outcome:
Please tell all the contacts in your Messenger list, not to accept Jayden K Smith friendship request. He is a hacker and has the system connected to your Facebook account. If one of your contacts accepts it, you will also be hacked, so make sure that all your friends know it. Thanks. Forwarded as received.

I miss the days when chain emails said you were going to be butchered by the ghost of a murder victim unless you sent a chunk of ~tExT tHaT lOoKs LiKe ThIs~ to your five crushes. At least that felt real, y’know?

This hoax seems to have popped up over the weekend, hitting Australia on Sunday and throughout Monday. I got my first one this morning, from someone I haven’t spoken to in about eight years. It’s nice they still care enough to stop this dastardly criminal from posting ‘I’m Gay’ on my Facebook wall, or whatever it is hackers do these days.
Of course, this has caused nothing but drama for the people actually named Jayden K Smith, who have been unfairly smeared with accusations of being an insanely cool and powerful hacker.
Look, I shouldn’t even have to tell you that Jayden K. Smith, the powerful hacker, is not at all real. But the memes about him are at least middling-to-average, so who really loses here?

Now get back to your damn week.
Photo: Getty Images.