Good God Almighty, Apple Is Now Worth $1 Trillion Actual American Dollars

The best part of primary school was blowing leftover lunch order money at the tuckshop. More often than not, my weekly windfall would be around 50c, but the odd occasions when I had a shiny $2 coin to expend on coloured sugar were highlights of my childhood. For $2, you could buy four of those Allen’s Killer Pythons – before the company shortened them, mind you – and dole them out to your squad. Bliss.

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What I’m getting at here is that wealth, in certain respects, is a subjective concept. For 45 minutes every other Thursday, I’d feel like a benevolent god-king bestowing his riches on the masses. The years that followed, and an awareness of my own family’s financial situation, altered my perception. No matter how well-off you may feel with $2, you will eventually become conscious of your community’s place in the world.

Overnight, tech giant Apple became the first American-based company to amass a value of over USD $1 trillion. Forget subjectivity: that’s too much money.

The company’s leap over that fabled financial barrier was powered by better-than-expected Q3 earnings. Strong sales of its iPhone X and its other stalwart products did enough to pump shares up to US $207.05 a pop, although that valuation has slightly diminished.

For what it’s worth, if 7-year-old me was handed USD $1 trillion (so, AUD $1.358 trillion) and access to the tuckshop, I’d walk away with 2.716 trillion Killer Pythons. At 33cm each, they would stretch 896,280,000 kilometres if laid end to end. Hypothetically, I would almost be able to stretch them to Jupiter and back.

Too much money, folks.

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