I’m just gonna say it: I am more terrified of breaking my mobile phone than I am of, say, breaking my pinky finger. Really, what use does a pinky finger even have, beyond the occasional declaration of ~fancy~ when drinking a hot beverage? A signal to indicate that someone’s dodgy driving implies that they’re compensating for something?
Truly, it has no use in my mind. Get rid of it. If the Simpsons can manage, so can I.
My phone however? Pretty vital for my existence in the year 2019. I use it to stay in contact, of course, but it’s also my music player, my podcast haven, one of my main gaming platforms and, well, my chief selfie-taking apparatus.
So if I break it, I’m screwed.
And it’s true, we all rely on our phones so much more now that they’re so technologically advanced. It’s even more relevant when we go gallivanting overseas. I don’t know how I’d get around without the luxury of having an in-built map right there on my phone, and travelling anywhere that doesn’t natively speak English could be a challenge without a translate app.
There’s so much added value in your phone nowadays, and it’s no wonder they’ve gotten more exxy each year. But therein lies my problem – I am a broke binch who can’t afford to get an upgraded phone every single year (or each time I accidentally drop it in the sink). So, the way I see it, here are my options:
Flog my current phone until it carks
The mobile phone I have at the moment does the job okay, but it’s definitely on its last legs. There are cracks over the camera so the 10/10 selfie production has had to cease (but let’s be real, it was mostly filtered nonsense so it’s no big loss).
So I could conceivably just keep using it for its calling and texting functionality for a while, but when it comes time to replace it I’m stuck in the exact same boat – a leaky one, with probably a bunch of sharks paddlin’ around (okay sure, sharks don’t paddle but it’s a fun visual).
Dig out the old flip phone in my desk
Some people WANT to step away from the technological life. Some people wax lyrical about how lovely it’d be to go back to the old days, before our phones basically ruled our lives and had us scrolling more distance than we walk each day.
And flip phones used to be cool as heck. Sure, most of them don’t have bluetooth, or front-facing cameras, or maps, or streaming apps, or music players, or.. well, most things. Actually no, this isn’t a great option in the long run.
Score a sweet pre-owned phone
Back in ye olde days where those pink chromatic flippy phones were all the rage, if you wanted to buy a pre-owned phone then you’d have to deal with creeps on Gumtree. Not cute. If you go for a provider like numobile though, you can pay yours off on a plan and swap it in for a different one whenever the urge strikes.
So my broke soul can manage both not having the money to fork out for a new mobile phone (for no reason) and not having to commit to something when I’m maybe just a smidge of a commitment-phobe.
Best of both worlds, my pals.Image: Touchstone Pictures