I recently heard from some random human being who I decided to blindly believe that the yellow heart emoji means you “like” someone. As in, LIKE-like.
Basically it was for sending to people you’re dating to be like “awww” without the intensity of the red heart and it’s “love” connotations.
It is stupid that I was even having a conversation about emoji hearts and their meanings, but hey – we live in an emoji world, and I’m just an emoji girl.
I’m not actually, I hate emojis. I shouldn’t even be writing this bc I use emojis sparingly and reluctantly but here we are, mates. I do a lot of shit for you that I don’t want to do, and that you also don’t want me to do. But it happens because who knows.
ANYWAY. I’ve decoded – with a LOT of input from my group chat which are the authority on everything and that is final – the meaning behind all the emoji hearts.
Just to emphasise – these are the absolute and definitive meanings. Do not @ me, do not come for me, just read and obey.
RED HEART
It means love. This is so fucking obvious. If you didn’t know this, you’re absolutely my parents and can you get off my story, Dad?
YELLOW HEART
This means “I like you and we are dating, but I’m not ready to red-heart you”. It’s basically the dating heart.
GREEN HEART
This implies love but with a touch of the Irish. You’re saying “hey pal, love you and also feeling kinda Irish in my soul”. Does that sound insane? I don’t care.
BLACK HEART
Alllll the fashion folks use this one. It’s the chic heart, and you use it when you like someone’s outfit. Or when you want to give off the air of being ~cool~ and ~with it~. I’m neither of these things, I’m a fucking idiot who always spills tomato sauce on her shirt so I never use it.
PURPLE HEART
I have asked one lesbian and two gay men about this, and they are all in agreement that the purple heart is “lesbian love”. So it’s LGBTQI but specifically, it’s for lesbians? This is now my current stance because I’m a good ally and I listen.
BLUE HEART
This is either sad love – when your mate breaks up with their partner, you can send this baby. It can also, according to my sister who needs help, mean ‘ocean love’ – when you see a cute dolphin or sea mammal.
ORANGE HEART
This heart is disgusting, so it’s for using when you’re being a shithead. You put this at the end of pass agg texts with subliminal meanings. Like “No worries”. But really you have many worries. MANY. WORRIES. AND. ANGERYS.
PINK VIBRATING HEARTS
Both of these mean masturbating. You’re using your vibrator or your fleshlight. The end.
TWO PINK HEARTS
You’ve got a crush on someone and you probably shouldn’t have a crush on them. Like Barnaby Joyce.
TWO PINK HEARTS WITH THE CIRCLING MOTION
The most useless heart emoji. It can only be used to indicate you’ve gone steady with someone. How fucking pointless. You’re an embarrassment, pink-hearts-doing-circling-motion. An embarassment to the emoji community.
HEART WITH ARROW THROUGH IT
Use this one when you want to talk shit about couples who over-share on Insta/FB. Like when your mate decides to do “402649 photographic days of loving my boo”. Foul. Deserving of this shit-giving heart.
HEART WITH A BOW ACROSS IT
This is the heart of fake love according to my mate Amy. While the orange heart is for real hatred, the heart with a bow is for smarmy frenemy shit. “Happy for youuuuuu!” Ugh do not be this person. Never use this heart. If you do, I pre-hate you.
SPARKLY PINK HEART
Why are there so many pink hearts? This is what keeps me up at night. Anyway the sparkly heart is for when you’re wasted and sending out illegible “ILY” texts to your entire contacts list. It’s the heart of drunken friendship.
WEIRD RED HEART WITH A DOT UNDERNEATH
This one is stupid and I hate it. But you can use it to be like “love this!” bc it’s essentially an exclamation mark but with a heart. Which is why it’s stupid.
BROKEN HEART
Oh for god’s sake. Obviously this is for when your mate has been unceremoniously dumped and her ex immediately started fucking someone else. Also, for when Oporto gives you the wrong dipping sauce.
