This Swiss Church Replaced Bells With A Ringtone ‘Cos God’s Calling, Bitch

A Catholic church in Switzerland has replaced the sound of its hourly bells with a classic Apple ringtone while the building undergoes renovations, ushering in the death of God.

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Instead of the ominous toll of bells, the small Swiss town of Lucerne now hears the distinct iPhone ringtone, Marimba. While the bells are out of action, the church reached out to the Lucerne University of Applied Sciences to come up with a solution, because who else would you ask?

Instead of downloading any number of ‘Bells_Ringing.mp3’ files from the internet, two students decided to make a joke out of it and simply play the most annoying ringtone of all time to the town’s 80,000+ population, all of whom probably have extreme phone anxiety as a result.

“We confide everything to our mobile phone, we communicate with them when alone,” the students told the BBC. “We ask them for advice. All of those tasks are actually attributed to the gods.”

The big man upstairs will be ringing the church until July 30, after which what will happen is uncertain. Will the original bells be functional again? Will they force the heathen children to play some digital bells? Or will they simply change the tone to that bit in the Kim Possible theme where she says “call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me”, only “reach” is replaced with “preach”? We simply do not know.

In the meantime, you can listen to the horrible sounds in the video below. Will you answer the call of God, maaaannn?

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