You hurting today, son?

Damn right you are.

We’ve just come off the back of what was, for many, a long weekend of debauchery. One most likely filled with substances not ideal for the body, soul or mind. 

But, like a rogue unicorn bursting forth from the loins of heaven, a start-up called ZenNow has appeared.

It’s a fresh new app offering massages direct to your door, on demand. It’s being dubbed the Uber of massages ’cause all you gotta do it request a therapist, pick a time, and wait for them to hightail it straight to your house / hotel / workplace / inner-city gutter you woke up in.

ow yes mama das de spot

“As a busy working professional, I always found it difficult to find the time to book in a massage. And, finding a reputable, quality therapist wasn’t easy either. When trying a new massage shop, you never knew what you were about to walk into,” says co-founder Melissa Rohlfs.


“That’s when I knew there must be a better way, one that made it easier and simpler to fit a massage into our hectic schedules and reap the benefits massage therapy provides. ZenNow was born. We want to give everyone the opportunity to find the time to relax, without the hassle. All you have to do is download the app and request a massage either on-demand or schedule an appointment. We then come to you. There’s never been an easier way to book a massage.”

Intrigued, the PEDESTRIAN.TV Melbourne office couldn’t help but hotline bling them for some handy work.

Our lovely therapist Peter (one of ZenNow’s certified, fully qualified and pre-vetted massage experts) is working my toight shoulders as I write this very sentence, and boy is it a magical experience. 

Pricewise, the mobile Aussie biz offers Sports, Swedish, Remedial or Relaxation massages starting at $75 for 45 minutes, $95 for 60 minutes or $135 for 90 minutes you can book through their app.

The on-demand massages service is available only in Melbourne & Sydney at present, but provided you crooked individuals lap it up, it’ll surely be on its way to other metro cities in the future.

Now that’s what they call a happy ending.

u can’t see her face but she is smiling

Photo: Seinfeld.