I Spent $50 On A Used Copy Of ‘The Simpsons: Hit & Run’ (2003) And I Regret Nothing

My name is Lavender and the 2003 PS2 game The Simpsons Hit & Run is ruining my life.

Hi Lavender.

It is my firm belief that the Play Station 2 is the greatest console of all time. I will (and have previously) argue this until I am blue in the face. Sure, your N64 has that nostalgia factor, but the PS2 is the perfect middle ground between classic consoles and new, high-tech ones. But that’s a story for another day.

Anyways, I recently acquired a copy of the coveted The Simpsons: Hit & Run PS2 game. And yes, by “acquired” I mean “paid an exuberant amount of money for a video game that is older than my sister.” $50.

This is my all-time favourite game, but after a decade without playing, I couldn’t help but wonder if The Simpsons: Hit & Run stood the test of time. So naturally, I completed the entire game (for research purposes) to gift you all a review that absolutely nobody asked for.

Warning: This post contains spoilers because this game has been out for 17 years and if you haven’t played it yet, that’s not my fucking problem. 

the simpsons hit and run

Let’s call a spade a spade here, The Simpsons: Hit & Run is essentially a slightly less violent, Simpsons-themed Grand Theft Auto in the best possible way. As a diehard Simpsons fan, there are very few things that hit me in the feels quite like running/driving around the streets of Springfield as various characters.

Hit & Run was well ahead of its time, and honestly, if you boosted the graphics just a smidge, I firmly believe this game would be a hit today (nostalgia factor excluded, obviously).

As you progress through each level, you’re treated to countless hidden gems and inside jokes from some of the top-tier episodes of the show (seasons 4-6 are the good shit) like Mr Plow, Lisa’s robot, Linguo and countless other references to the show that made my childhood.

Honestly, I can’t remember making it past the first two levels (Homer and Bart) as a child because I wasn’t very good and was only able to play the higher levels on my sister’s saved game, so it was a real treat actually making it through the remainder of the game.

But levels 3-7 are where this game really shines. For starters, you unlock incredible vehicles like Lisa’s Malibu Stacy car and Marge’s Canyonero, but it doesn’t stop there. You also get to journey through iconic Springfield areas like the Tomacco Farm in an attempt to work out what the absolute fuck is going on.

the simpsons hit and run
I NEED a Malibu Stacy convertible IRL

Oh yeah, this is also the point where you realise the game has an actual storyline if you play it properly and don’t just steal cars and fight unsuspecting strangers like I did as a child.

For those interested in *actually* playing the game, you’re basically trying to put a stop to the Buzz Cola-induced insanity that’s wreaking havoc on Springfield in the lead up to Halloween. The entire game takes place over the seven days leading up to Halloween, starting with some strange surveillance vans, and culminating with a fully-fledged alien conspiracy. If, like me, you only remember driving around and running amok in this game, you’re in for a real treat.

After having a kickass girls moment playing Lisa and Marge’s levels, you get to run around Springfield as Apu Nahasapeemapetilon and use your mafia contacts to try to find the source of the insanity-inducing Buzz Cola. Yep, they’re really pulling out all the stops with this game. Aliens, the mafia, weird surveillance vans. You name it, they’ve got it. ICONIC.

Marge is a badass prison bitch

Level 6 happened, but to be quite honest, I don’t remember anything about it because I was too busy trying not to pee my pants with excitement about the best level of any game, ever.

I’m talkin’ bout level 7, baby.

the simpsons hit and run
Image: myabandonware.com

The final level of The Simpsons: Hit & Run is the best thing to ever happen in video game history, and that is a cold, hard FACT.

It’s Halloween, there’s a bunch of zombies running around, you’re living in the aftermath of a fucking alien invasion and the town’s water supply has been replaced with Buzz Cola. If video games could win a Nobel Prize, TS:H&R level 7 sure as fuck deserves one.

All in all, this game still fucking slaps. I cannot fault it on anything. Sure, the graphics aren’t at 2020 levels, but what the fuck did you expect from a game that’s almost old enough to buy a beer? But content-wise, The Simpsons: Hit & Run is pure gold. Its sandbox-style allows for free play and exploration, but there’s still enough structure for you to actually feel like you’re working towards an end goal (saving the world).

Pros:

  • If this game was released today, we would still fucking love it. Nostalgia factor aside, this game has everything needed to be a stellar video game.
  • It reminds you of all of those incredible gags in the early episodes of The Simpsons.
  • There is SO much to do. Even after you complete all of the missions, you can go back and collect all of the cards, kill all of the wasps and buy all of the vehicles. Even after you’ve done all of that, you can still drive around and run amok.

Cons:

  • Literally nothing.
  • None at all.
  • No really
  • Go out and buy this game, you won’t regret it.
  • Go on.
  • Get.
  • What are you still doing here?

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