Scorpion chair. It’s all I’ve been able to think about for the last 48 hours, so much so that now I think I may need to cave in and… buy one? I don’t need a scorpion chair… unless… but no I don’t… but maybe…
The Cluvens Scorpion Computer Cockpit is the latest hot product from Cluvens, running at a measly AUD$4,530. The future is here and it is hotter than we imagined. I don’t think I would ever be leaving this chair if I possessed one, the only problem is getting my hands on all that spare cash.
The videos of the damn thing are even wilder, showing the chair bending and snapping at will. It folds, retracts, lights up and does it all again for your human entertainment. Although it does remind me of that one scary Transformer, I’m sure nothing in the way of a robot takeover will happen anytime soon, right 2020?
are you normal or do you desperately wish you had this scorpion PC set-up pic.twitter.com/kEiYaVLpeL
— PHΛЯΛӨH (@PharaohOW) September 11, 2020
Twitter has understandably freaked tf out, obsessing over the glory that is our lord and saviour, scorpion chair.
One user even reminded us that this isn’t the craziest gaming chair to exist, revealing the images of the tank chair, which is even more insane. Someone get me a Primegaming Tank for my birthday please and thank you.
I rather have the tank
P.S. this is real pic.twitter.com/pXveZ9Yd5H
— Shin Kurosawa (@ShinKuro127) September 11, 2020
According to the website where you can buy the official Scorpion Computer Cockpit, “The products are shipped in a wooden crate weighing 140kg in total, they will be placed at the curb at the end of the driveway,” which sounds so extra for a gaming chair, I simply love it.
Apparently the beast is made of “High-carbon steel with black sand texture powder-coated paint” and offers up “support for 21-29″ triple screen monitors with VESA international standards.”
They also stress that the cockpit is quite a dangerous tool, writing: “To avoid accidents or injuries and damage to family property, ensure that no one (person/except person helping, pet or objects) is around the cockpit during the initial installation of the cockpit; while moving the cockpit, or adjusting the cockpit for desired positions.”
If you need me I’ll be reading through emails and playing online solitaire in my expensive new scorpion.Image: Cluvens