Picture this: You’re playing Wii tennis by yourself (because you have no friends), you’re a sexually frustrated 14- year-old teenager and suddenly you’re starting to find the Miis attractive.

That’s obviously not about me (wink, wink, nudge, nudge), but I can’t be the only one that finds the Miis kind of hot? So I’ve decided to rank 20 of them from the OG Wii Sports.

20. Elisa

Sorry but Elisa sucks. She’s always so smug when I play against her in Wii boxing or tennis. Like what do you have to be so smug about? You actually suck at baseball. I’m a firm believer that a bad personality can make someone ugly. Elisa is a prime example.

19. Takashi

Who let this OLD ASS man onto Wii Sports?? This man is about 80-years-old and his lips look like hamburgers. I’ll have a side of fries with those lips, THANK YOU.

18. Theo

Oh sweetie, that forehead…It’s not even a fivehead, that’s a bloody sixhead. Maybe the forehead is his secret weapon in Wii tennis? His massive forehead makes him more aerodynamic.

17. Ian

It’s the neckbeard and moustache for me. There’s a 95% Ian is an incel and hates women. Cya.

16. Shouta

Shouta really seems like a nice guy, he’s just not my type. Sorry.

15. Chika

She might be easy to defeat in Wii Sports, but Chika looks a bit too sensitive for me. I feel like she’d cry all the time, and I just don’t have time for that.

14. Gwen

Gwen looks like a kind person, but sometimes that just not enough. She’s competing with some very sexy Miis on this list.

13. Saburo

Is it possible to be both repulsed and intrigued by someone? That’s how I feel about Saburo. He’s gross but also somehow sexy? Hm I probably need to work through some shit.

12. Luca

Ok, this Michael Moore-looking man can kind of like get it. He wouldn’t be my first choice, but after a few drinks…who knows?

11. Ryan

The only reason Ryan is ranked so high is because he looks exactly like ‘The Dude’ from The Big Lebowski and I love that movie.

10. Michael

This is what peak fuccboi looks like. This guy would have stolen your lunch money and given you a wedgy in primary school. However, guys like this end up taking over their father’s businesses and make mad bank. So if I had no morals (which I don’t), I’d happily go there.

9. Jake 

Yeah nice blue eyes, handlebar ‘stache. He’s alright.

8. Fumiko 

Nice hair, nice eyes. It’s a yes from me.

7. Naomi

Wow! Naomi is stunning. She would be higher, but she’s really bad at Wii Sports.

6. Miyu

Something about Miyu is so hot. She looks like she’d take you on adventures and then break your heart. No one will ever be as cool as Miyu.

5. Greg

Objectively this guy is hot. He looks a bit too frat boy for me, but I can certainly see the appeal.

4. Alex

Damn, Alex has some real sex appeal. Also, a man who’s not afraid to wear pink. That’s hot.

3. Silke

I’m getting massive Samantha from Sex and the City vibes from Silke, and we all know Samantha is quite literally SEX.

2. Tatsuaki

This guy is HOT, I don’t care that he’s a Mii. You can just tell he’s bold, ambitious and doesn’t take shit from anyone. I absolutely adore his aura.

1.Matt

Matt is by far the sexiest Mii and I won’t hear another word about it. Not only does he absolutely pummel you in Wii tennis, he also has perfect facial symmetry. I know it’s difficult to assess what Mii bodies would look like in real life, but I just know that Matt would be tanked. If he’s that good at tennis, he’d obviously have a ripper body and god, why am I so attracted to a Mii character?