Does the thought of security guards at the Stamford Plaza blatantly ignoring quarantine regulations to get their fucc on with hotel quarantine patients somehow make you… horny? Probably not, because it’s gross and really dumb. But if it does, you’re in luck because there’s a fake POV porno for that, apparently.
On a serious note, the security guards involved in the ordeal absolutely did the wrong thing. For starters, having any sort of intimate relationship with the people you’re trying to guard is a huge abuse of power. And if that wasn’t enough, we’re also in the midst of a highly-contagious pandemic, which makes it even more fucked.
But it’s 2020 and even this situation was bound to be the butt of a viral internet joke. So without further adieu, I present to you:
“POV: You’re the security guard that gets seduced by a COVID patient at the Stamford Plaza in Melbourne.”
POV: You’re the security guard that gets seduced by a Covid patient at the Stamford Plaza in Melbourne x pic.twitter.com/LX14tJl8bm
— Elouise Eftos (@hotsmartfunny) July 8, 2020
The video, shared by Elouise Eftos (@hotsmartfunny), has amassed over 3,000 views in less than 24 hours, which is quite frankly WAY less than this cinematic masterpiece deserves.
“I’m like, not even sick,” the quarantined woman says between sneezes.
In case you missed it, a whistleblower recently alleged that his fellow guards indulged in intimate relations with quarantined travellers in an interview with The Today Show.
EXCLUSIVE: A security guard working in a quarantine hotel in Melbourne has blown the whistle on what working there is really like. #9Today pic.twitter.com/ZrkC0pTBSq
— The Today Show (@TheTodayShow) July 1, 2020
As you’d expect, Federal Health Minister Greg Hunt immediately condemned the actions, telling Sky News it “was an unacceptable set of breaches.”
“We would encourage the Victoria authorities to throw the book at them, either individuals or, if there’s any systemic inappropriate action, at those that are responsible for it,” he said when the news first broke.
Acceptable or not, it was just a matter of days before this very serious issue was turned into *checks notes* a parody POV porno.
Melbourne folk are in for another six weeks of lockdown, so stay the fuck home and watch fake quarantine porn if you have to. I assure you, it’s better than going outside and risking spreading the virus further.
