Video games have always yearned for realism. Every year it seems like the experience of playing a game becomes more entertaining, more lifelike and now, more immersive via the advent of consumer virtual reality (VR).
But a small portion of gamers yearn for more than visual realism. They want the real-life deal. That sweet, sweet hyper-realism that trumps all others. These people are the simulation gamers, and they think your console controller is a silly JOKE.
This form of gaming certainly isn’t new, either. While it’s often argued, most credit SimCity as being the very first simulation game, released in 1989. Others say it’s a similar city management game from 1984 titled Fortune Builder, but that’s not the point, we just want you to know that the genre is old. Please write that down.
Like all other video games, they have advanced with technology and spawned many, many iterations covering all sorts of activities. There are flight simulators, which make sense given flying a plane is not something that is accessible to everyone and would likely make an entertaining pass-time. But then there are your stranger simulations. Train sims, farming sims and bus sims are perfect examples of the games that are slightly more – how do we say – fucking boring.
The existence of such dull gaming experiences is one thing. Most gamers will load up the latest Farming Simulator, tend to a few pigs and go back to their equally as mundane IRL job where they earn actual money. But then there’s the hardcore simmers. The ones that buy expensive, lifelike controllers, build their own cockpits and print out detailed flight plans that they store in a god damn clip binder.
Just be a pilot, aye.
This is it. This is the zenith. The point at which any of the geeky shit you do gets completely washed away by a sea of hobby employment. Here are some people that fall into this category.
TRAIN SIMS
ALL ABOARD THE FUCKING SNOOZE TRAIN.
The first Train Simulator was released in 1995 and does exactly what it says on the box. It simulates the job of a train driver.
“Ever dreamed of driving trains? Now you can! Train Simulator 2016 brings to life some amazing extreme train challenges on real world routes and delivers the ultimate railway hobby,” says the Steam product page.
And if you really wanna run train on some SIK rail, Train Simulator 2016 gives you the option of a desktop controller.
This is YouTube user Tmillz316 and he owns said RailDriver Desktop Controller, as you can see him showing off below.
Look, I’ve never driven a train before, but my lord that looks boring. His hand barely moves from the one stick and when it does, it’s just to move the camera around. The train does look dope though, I’ll give it that.
And if ya wanna get in on this riveting ride, you totally can. The RailDriver Desktop Controller and Train Simulator 2016 is available at The Gamesmen for the very reasonable price of $429.95. One for the rail enthusiasts, no doubt.
FARMING SIMS
Farming Simulator 15 is the latest instalment of the franchise and is, surprisingly, very popular. Overall, 90% of the 8,000+ Steam user reviews at the time of writing are positive.
User ResidentBilly writes:
“Why is this game so addictive? I’m litterally [SIC] farming in a virtual world! When our real world is running short of food supplies because farmers are going broke because we refuse to pay appropriate prices for food grown on farms! I never even go outside, and yet in this game I’m outside 24/7! I need help.”
While user Gib simply writes:
“Great.”
And then there’s the hardware for those who really wanna farm the shit outta some produce. YouTube user Spaffboy is all up in a Saitek wheel, pedals and joystick combo because his idea of fun is foreign to the everyman.
And of course, if you share Spaffboy’s ideals and wish to work for leisure, you can pick up a Mad Catz Saitek Heavy Equipment Precision Control System for $486. Value.
SPACE SIMS
From a simulation perspective, space sims make way more sense than the 2 above. Most are somewhat futuristic and offer players an interactive glimpse of space that very few actually get to live.
One of the most popular games in the genre is Elite Dangerous, a game in which you pilot a badass space ship and live out a virtual role of your choice. Explore and earn money from your discoveries, be a certified space-cunt and steal peoples shit or space-truck goods from one system to another to turn a profit.
The game is fun when played on any controller, but optimal with a Hands on Throttle and Stick (HOTAS) setup. Having played the game on the latter, I can confirm that it is way funner than it sounds and a really good way to repulse your girlfriend.
But there’s space sim setups, and then there’s space sim setups. YouTuber Markus B. has a motherfucking setup.
Too bad consumer VR headsets just made that entire cockpit redundant. Bummer.
TRUCK SIMS
Fancy a fricken big rig adventure? Euro Truck Simulator 2 will surely sate your desires.
“Travel across Europe as king of the road, a trucker who delivers important cargo across impressive distances! With dozens of cities to explore from the UK, Belgium, Germany, Italy, the Netherlands, Poland, and many more, your endurance, skill and speed will all be pushed to their limits.”
But old mate alfredo3895 takes that to the next level with this rig. LOOK AT IT. LOOK.
This is actually pretty cool, regardless of Alfredo’s questionable life choices. It actually looks like he’s truckin’ whatever mundane shit he has in the back across Europe. Kudos, Alfredo.
I’d love to tell you more about his setup and how much it cost him, but the description is in Spanish and no hablo español.
FLIGHT SIMS
There are heaps of different flight sims out there and to be honest, I’m not sure which one this is, but that’s not important. What is important, is this bullshit homemade flight simulator.
Posted by user Neale Hargreaves, he even has his copilot mate help him with the preflight checks. That’s friendship, folks.
There’s a multitude of impressive homemade flight simulators floating around out there, many of them displayed on YouTube for your viewing pleasure. This one, however, shows the full flight preparation process which was interesting, even if it did take up a good portion of the clip.
If you take anything away from this, it should be that some gamers take simulations very, very seriously.
Photo: Markus B.
