There Now Exists A Game Where Shoving A Trumpet Up A Donkey’s Ass Is A Powerful Weapon

In the grand pantheon of video gaming, seldom few weapons or offensive moves are typically viewed as God-like and unbeatable. The GoldenEye 007 Golden Gun is one. The BFG 9000 from Doom is another. But those ranks are soon to be joined by a fearsome new rival: a trumpet shoved up a farting donkey’s ass, thanks to the impending release of Inkulinati.

A medieval-tinged strategy game from indie developer Yaza Games, Inkulinati finally had its first moments in the sun as part of the sprawling PAX Online event, which wrapped up yesterday. The hotly anticipated, Kickstarter-funded project received its first playable demo, revealing the true nature of the donkey’s ass and the farts that dwell within.

Inkulinati is a turn-based strategy game set in the pages of a medieval book. With gorgeous-looking hand-drawn characters and graphics, it is a virtual history book come-to-life. Only one with, y’know, lots of butt-trumpeting donkeys firing off willy nilly.

Players navigate their way through the game, encountering and recruiting characters to their stables in order to better their strategies and improve their odds of victory.

Per the official game description, players will have to become “a master of the Living Ink” in order to “lead your illustrated army to victory on the pages of medieval books.”

You can cop a look at the trailer for the truly wild-looking game below.

Inkulinati has no set release date at the moment beyond an open-ended “2021” time frame. However the game is set to see a release on the Nintendo Switch and through Steam. And I don’t know about any of you, but farting donkeys, mystical cats, and brave Sir Rabbits seems like a pretty solid to beat up your housemate/partner/whoever else.

Might be a good shout to break out ye olde credit card and smash this one on the download the instant it becomes available.

Your ass, quite literally, could depend on it.


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