Chaffed nipples, the inability to eat stinky cheese and a tiny person kicking in your ribcage on the daily are just some of the downsides to pregnancy.
As far as I can tell, though – as someone who’s never actually gone through pregnancy – one definite upside is that your body does most of the groundwork: you, the human, follows a set of basic rules like no-alcohol-for-nine-months and, all things going well, it’ll cover the rest. But if the future has its way, we’re going to be a whole lot more responsible for our future baby’s safe passage into the world.
Students studying product design at ArTEZ, an arts university in the Netherlands, have designed an internet-connected incubator that would allow a child to grow completely outside the womb i.e. in your living room, the same place you murder your plants.
The Par-tu-ri-ent pod features a feeding device that delivers mushed up food with all the right nutrients direct to your futuristic baby, a microphone that lets you talk shit to it and even a clear lid so you can obsess over every stage of its growth.
Check it out:
This artificial womb can grow a ‘baby’ inside your living room pic.twitter.com/ky2wZt5D3i
— NowThis (@nowthisnews) June 26, 2017
The students have no intention of bringing the Par-tu-ri-ent to life, but it’s not that far-fetched a concept when you consider how far science has already come; in April, researchers at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia successfully delivered baby lambs that were gestated in a a yuck ‘bio-bag’ filled with amniotic fluid.
While the concept could be a dream for couples who are infertile or women incapable of carrying a baby due to illness, it’s still some scary-ass, Matrix-style shiz and Twitter is not OK with the concept.
This is how the Matrix began & we all know how that turned out. https://t.co/KUk5QNmDjC
— Her Grand Clarity (@JSoAbove) June 27, 2017
Come the fuck on, i can’t even keep a house plant alive in my living room https://t.co/iUi6uVNg4d
— jessica wakeman (@JessicaWakeman) June 27, 2017
*opens* “he look done to you?……naw, turn him over and put him back in” https://t.co/FofSH5ooFv
— diehard sixers fan (@dreadcraft_) June 26, 2017
Get a little tipsy and knock that bad boy over and now you got triplets https://t.co/gTps33D569
— Vann R. Newkirk II (@fivefifths) June 27, 2017
Phone: “You have 10% battery left”
*Unplugs baby to charge phone* https://t.co/0PEfo59neD
— Derek Dozier (@yaboyD3) June 27, 2017
“Which one of y’all unplugged the baby to charge your phone?” https://t.co/1qkVgtlF8q
— mario (@xcxmario) June 27, 2017
I don’t wanna know why baby is in quotes https://t.co/jvYFtiFI3q
— yc (@yc) June 26, 2017
Cute… until y’all baby come out like pic.twitter.com/wgxRr7LTiF
— chris (@OGChronicle) June 26, 2017
This bullshit ..?? wat happens if Electricty goes Out ?
— Pour’up 3.0 (@Vucci_Vusani) June 26, 2017
But that would be terrible. “Oops, looks like the baby died while we were out. Wanna plant another one?”
— Mermaid Tavern (@Mermaid_Tav) June 26, 2017
Sorry in advance for my failure to adult, future child.
Source and photo: Fast Co Design.