The number of infuriating telemarketer calls I’ve received lately has gone through the fucking roof. It’s gotten to the point where, if I don’t answer, they’ll try to call me a further 5 times in the space of an hour. I’m not exaggerating, it’s absolute horse shit. Luckily, there’s a little something called the Do Not Call Register and it saved my dang sanity.

And here’s the thing, I’m a nice guy. I generally prefer to avoid conflict, so if I do happen to pick up one of these calls after mistaking it for something important, I hang around and listen to what the person on the other end has to say and then politely decline whatever it is. I might even save the number as ‘Some Asshole’ or ‘Dickheads Calling For Your Money’ so I know when not to answer.

Not anymore, bitch. I no longer have the patience required to deal with any of that bullshit, and other people have noticed.

After mistaking one of these calls for one that I was actually expecting at work, I was asked by a gentleman about the home I owned and if I was looking to refinance. I have never owned a home and at this rate, I probably never will. I snapped at the poor bloke and told him to take me off whatever shitty list he was calling from.

At this point, a number of my colleagues stopped what they were doing to ask me what had happened or just to tell me that I sound scary on the phone, but our deputy editor, James, pointed me to the Do Not Call Register.

The whole process was a piece of piss and took me less than 5 minutes to register my number and click a confirmation link in a confirmation email.

How to sign up to the Do Not Call Register

First, jump into the government website here and select whose number you’d like to register from the list.

Do Not Call Register

Then enter your details.

Do Not Call Register

And finally, enter the numbers you’d like to add to the Do Not Call Register and confirm.

Do Not Call Register

After that, all you need to do is click the link you receive via a confirmation email and you’re done. Of course, it doesn’t kick in straight away, but after a week or two, you should stop getting most of those annoying calls. Bueno.

And look, I know these people are just doing their jobs, but there’s only so many times a day I can listen to someone give me some terrible spiel for a deal that has no earthly relevance to me whatsoever, you know?

If you’re constantly plagued by the same incessant calls, put yourself on the Do Not Call Register, folks. Long live the register.

Image: Softbank