It seems that every week there’s a new social media trend, which some may find annoying, but I, for one, very much welcome a harmless distraction when there’s so much chaos going on in the world.

The current trend on good ol’ Instagram is the ‘Which x are you?’ trend, where the account owners designate different names to a bunch of images, including, but not limited to, Which frog are you? Which hedgehog are you? And which Rihanna are you?

Here are a coupla examples:

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Paige ✨????

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Again, a nice, harmless social media challenge that encourages folks to tag their mates and have a bit of a chuckle.

My one and only qualm with it is that the selection of names paired with the images have been an absolute smorgasbord of wacky and borderline offensive names that I desperately hope belong to no one.

Take, for example, the Hedgehog challenge. Did some sad sack actually name their kid Yatana?

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yatana????

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And are you telling me that some poor bugger is currently waltzing through life with the name Chazlyn?

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Chazlyn????

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And what about the fact that I couldn’t find a single Matt or Matthew but there’s Arsany, front and centre for (I hope) no one to claim.

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Wild Arsany????

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Then there’s this one which, as we know, is in use by at least one person, not that that makes it okay…

Some more examples:

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Torrey

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Jalen

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Sinndy

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My sincerest apologies to the people who are actually named Yatana, Chazlyn or Arsany… and I’m not apologising ‘cos I’ve offended you, I’m apologising ‘cos you were cursed with an absolutely heinous name.

And don’t worry, I did my research to make sure I wasn’t offending too many people here and according to this website, only 10 girls were named Yatana in the last 138 years (and may I add, amen).

But the thing that perplexes me the most about all this, is that being someone who gets paid to understand how social media works, I can tell you that the goal is to make sure your shit gets likes, comments and tags, so wouldn’t it make sense to pick the popular names so your content is shareable?

Gimme more Matts and Sarahs and save Yatana for, I dunno, science fiction, maybe??