‘Straya day is all about the fun in the sun but tomorrow’s weather forecast is indicating that there will be plenty of rain across our sunburned land. As the forward-thinking problem solving booze hounds we are, we’ll be damned if we’re going to let a bit of wet weather get in the way of a patriotic piss-up.
Preparation is the key to ensuring inclement weather doesn’t rain on your parade. Here are our suggestions for Australia Day wet weather alternatives.
Goon Of Fortune
Does it get any more Australian than Goon Of Fortune? An amalgamation of two iconic Aussie inventions, the Hill’s Hoist and calling boxed wine “goon” – not to mention the John Burgess-hosted game show, Goon Of Fortune is right up there with electricity, the small pox vaccine, and the Internet in terms of life changing breakthroughs.
Should the weather rob you of the chance to get pie-eyed under the backyard clothesline, we suggest you MacGyver up with some duct tape and ceiling fan. Watch that goon sack go!
= Good times
Ripping in a few leggies on the freshly mowed backyard pitch is an Australia Day staple, but a monsoonal downpour is always a bit of a mood killer.
Unfortunately tip and run, six-and-out, “electric wicky”, and one-hand-one-bounce don’t apply in Test Match but a bit of retro boardgaming should tide you over until the clouds clear and the pitch dries out. At least mum’s rose bush will be safe.
It’s not clear when celebrating became synonymous with blowing shit up but in keeping with our natural pyromaniacal tendencies, Australia Day has become second only to New Years Eve in terms of a fireworks-worthy party.
But fireworks and rain just don’t work. Depending on how desperate you are to get your rental bond back (and how close you live to Canberra), you can replicate the same sense of excitement with a few firecrackers and a saucepan. Boom!
You have to eat if you want to avoid being “that guy” who gets their thongs duct taped to their face. You can keep it simple with a few snags and some onion, or gourmet that shit up with minted lamb rissoles and some prime rib. When it’s black, it’s cooked. Just add sauce and serve.
George Foreman’s range of lean, mean grilling machines are the ideal counter-punch to the poor weather. As a healthier alternative, the calories you’ve avoided with your grease-less meat-fest can be replaced with a few extra beers at the end of the day. Enjoy, you’ve earned them.
Other than filling your lounge-room with sand and whipping out the Baywatch box set, there are few indoor alternatives to a day at the beach. Unfortunately you’ll just have to suck it up. Here, these might cheer you up
Happy Australia Day!