Why TF Were JonBenét & Burke Eating Pineapple & Milk? A Scholarly Analysis

Did you tune in to The Case of: Jon Benét Ramsey last night?
Chances are you did. A whopping 2 million Australians sat down in front of their tellies to watch the second and final instalment of the gripping investigative doco.
We’ve been posting about it like there’s no tomorrow and y’all have been ferociously debating who’s responsible for the 6-year-old’s tragic murder back in 1996.
One comment on this story, though, piqued our interest:
Taylah Paton raised a point that absolutely needs addressing – why on God’s green earth was JonBenét washing down tangy pineapple with cow’s milk?!
(In case you didn’t tune in and you missed it, in the pictures taken of the crime scene, there’s a bowl of pineapple and milk on the kitchen table. Pineapple was also found partially-digested in JonBenét’s stomach during her autopsy, meaning it was the last thing she ate. As if that in itself isn’t disturbing enough, JonBenét’s big brother Burke‘s fingerprints were also found on the bowl and spoon, but, according to testimonial of both Burke and the parents, he slept heavily through the entire ordeal. Dodgy.)
Whodunnit aside, we need to talk about the real chilling mystery here – what would motivate someone, child, adult or otherwise, to willingly consume pineapple with milk?
While discussing this story in the office, my colleague Ash raised a point. “But Lucinda,” she started, her voice dripping with cynicism. “People drink smoothies with milk and pineapple in them all the time.”

To which I replied, “Of course they do. But who THE FUCK would source themselves a sad little bowl of milk and plonk in some chunky pineapple pieces, just like that?! Can you answer that?”

are you

It makes no sense. And not only is it foul. Apparently, the pairing could be fatal.
Back in 2008, The Daily Star reported the news that a man had supposedly died after eating pineapple and milk. According to the story, the Bangladeshi bloke got drunk at a wedding and “bet with his friends that he would drink milk and take pineapple at the same time.” He ate the combo and after just 15 minutes, he felt sick and died on the way to the hospital.
The theory there is that pineapple is acidic and milk is alkaline, and when mixed together cause a reactionary disturbance in digestion. As damning as that sounds, there’s been zilch scientific research to suggest that pineapple and milk are a legal combo – it’s most likely the guy passed away due to alcohol complications.
And lastly. You have most likely heard of the absurd conspiracy theory that Katy Perry is, in fact, JonBenét. 
If not, please have a watch of this viral YouTube clip, entitled ‘“JonBenét Ramsey” is singer “Katy Perry” – Parents give up the game. False Witness Death Liars‘ and consider the following photograph:
wat r u trying to say
So many questions, so little answers. 
But one thing is for sure: pineapple and milk are a recipe for disaster.
Photo: courtTV.