There’s a whole lotta talk going on in this behind-the-scenes, making of video for the 2012 Pirelli Calendar but not a great deal being said. There’s the requisite soundbites about inner beauty and comfort with one’s body, sensual poetic intimacy that avoids gratuity, and, most importantly, the wordless conversation between photographer Mario Sorrenti and his Calendar Girls. Some of the conversational highlights outside of this unspoken exchange, include but are certainly not limited to:

“The thing about Pirelli is that they’re really great tyres. They’re strong, and they’re modern and they work. And so for this shoot they’ve got a lot of really strong, amazing, modern women and so there’s like, you know, there’s this kind of relationship going on between these really strong tyres and these really strong women.” Milla Jovovich: Model, Actress, Master Weaver of Tenuous Links.

“I think every single job should just be like this. You’re totally relaxed, just hanging out naked having your picture taken. It’s so sexy. It’s not sexy like ‘in your face sexy’ it’s a bit more ‘innocent sexy.’ [I] Don’t know why they hired me. I’d like to do one every year until I’m 75.” Lara Stone: Who sounds nothing like you think she’s going to but it doesn’t matter because girl’s got mammaries from here to Septuageneria.

And my personal favourite:

“We’re in Corsica, and it’s really beautiful, full of mountains, a lot of green, fresh air, we’re super high up and so you can see the sky.” Isabeli Fontana: Aspiring Geophysicist.

I’m not very well placed to offer any commentary on the female empowerment that Saskia de Brauw purports to derive from the experience (what are they spraying these women with?!), but I’m sure there’s a feminist fashion writer somewhere willing to do a Jovovich and draw some pretty dubious segues from the Pirelli Calendar’s treatment of the image of ideal women (that Natasha Poly deems to uphold herself), to the Victoria’s Secret extravaganza and all the way back to the art/pornography/body image debate so let me just say – whatever. Boobs. Happy Friday.